Dear Pup..

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The things you think about when you are young? They aren't the same as when you grow old. Today we talked about your future. I so admire you tenacity. I love your strength. I talked and I talked trying to get you to say something. Your future. I want so bad for you to find something that makes you happy. Then I could use every bit of my strenght to help you get there.


I wrote 12 dogs as a way to find my future and make some sense of the past. I didn't plan to, I just leaped from that chair in the living room. I'd said the words, "I don't want to be anymore. Then I quickly changed my mind. Lucky me. Slowly I began to find that path you are looking for. It took me so long to do so and so much time wasted. That's why I'm so fierce now for you. Time. You think when you are young you have so much. You do.

If for some terrible reason we loose each other, you can always find me in that maze, 12 dogs and a blot. You're smart. You'll find a time when you need a distraction and you are looking for a shoulder to lean on. For an ephemeral moment you'll find this home within me to find comfort. It's a puzzle. There will be times when you will curse me for that.

But

In the struggle to put 12 dogs back together? You will find me. You will find the peace that you need. I want to be there too.


It's not my job.




It's who I am.

I love you.

I always will.

You've become not only my son but you've become my friend.


Hugs,

Mom


When you were two, I gave you a book. Winnie the Pooh. It's inscribed. I meant it then and I mean it now.

You really are a good story.

Best memory? The day you read all by yourself.

The proudest accomplishment? Teaching you how to read.

The best advice?

Honey, sometimes you just have to slog through and count your blessings no matter how small they might seem at the time. A bad day is just that. One day. There'll be a good next day. Remember that.







Wait one more day.
Count to 10.
Go for a 15 minute walk.
Say you're sorry.
If you love them and you get so upset you want to let go of their hand? Ask why.

A good nights sleep is a blessing.

You'll do just fine.

All words fail?
Hugs will be enough.


You are such a person. :D









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