Wednesday, April 13, 2011

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"...all of sudden going fishing..."


Look. I don't know who is reading this blog but if you have any say with a publisher? 



Dear David,

I have something to tell you. Dad nearly died. Mom in her upset basically told me that I wasn't welcome. My brother told me that I wasn't welcome and that Dad didn't want me around.

They were wrong.

Thankfully Dad didn't die and he told me that he loved me and that I was always welcome.

Mom had to eat some crow.

So did my brother.

That's not why I'm writing.

I'm writing because along time ago, I was told that family was the most important thing but that it was only the family as defined by my mother, father, and brother.

They were wrong.

As a result, I lost one of the best relationships of my life.

I'm going to take the advice that I gave you along time ago.

I'm going to trust my heart and I'm going to say what I think.

And some how I'm going to apologize to you for anything that I did to break our friendship.

We were friends for such a long time. I could call you at anytime and there you'd be. I remember the night that I had a scare and couldn't call anyone. Then I thought, "I can call David."  LOL I thought you'd be awake but you weren't. You didn't yell at me. You just asked what was the matter. I couldn't tell you why I was calling but I could tell you how glad I was that you were there. How could I have broken that friendship.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.


I am sorry.

I am sorry.

I am sorry.


So much has happened since then. I have a boat. I'm a writter. Pup is growing into a very lovely and interesting adult.  My dad told me he loved me. He asked me to stay.

I have dogs.

And a life.

But somewhere in all the good news there's an empty place where you used to be.

I don't want to die and not have squared this with you.


It is very important that you and I have at the very least peace if not  a chance to grow old with kind thoughts for each other.


I should call you but I'm affraid that you'd hang up on me or worse yet not say a word.


I still have the coin and the beautiful dairy with the pictures of Dublin. The one you sent the year that Pup was born.



I have something to say to you.


I am a real live, honest to God writer. I've purged most of the "demons" that have plagued my life. I've born and raised a good son. I've stood up for myself and for others in trouble. I have loved.

But I don't know how to tell you that I'm so very sorry nor do I know what to say so that you and I won't be separated anymore.

I don't.

I've thought and thought and I just don't know how to heal that rift.
Try as I might? I just can't seem to get past it.

I can feel my feet lift off the ground as I run along the shore. Feel the wings on my back, feel the wind im my face. Then something turns my head. A memory.

I can't help think that there is something that you and I must talk about.


:)








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