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"Ah crap, she's drinking milk from the Hersey's chocolate bottle again. It's disgusting and you know she's gonna' belch."


Ah May!  The end of term. That time of year when the flowers bloom, the sun is calling, and you have end of term exams.


Normally at this time of year I exercise, eat right,  and use sheer terror at failing my final exams in order to get through the month.

Not this year.

This year, thanks to a lovely roommate named P_____, I have a new plan. While I don't recommend it to those folks who are diabetics, there is another way.



P_____'s  Surefire Method For Staying Awake And Getting Sleep During Exams



Step One


Go to the store and buy a bottle of Hersey's syrup.  We recommend the 24 ounce bottle but a smaller version might work. ALERT! ALERT! DO NOT BUY THE SYRUP IN THE CAN. You WILL need the bottle that the syrup come in.


Step Two

Eat the syrup. Just squeeze it out into a great big spoon and eat it like soup.  Share it with a friend or roommate. Buy a couple of bottles and have a party. (Kids, make sure that no one is a diabetic. Please. And make sure, for hygiene reasons, that EVERYONE has their own spoon. Nothing says bad luck in finals like a communicable illness that you got from sharing a spoon. ( Not a drug reference.)



Step Three


After you've eaten all the syrup in the bottle (Also NOT a drug reference.)  Take a funnel and pour milk into the now empty Hersey's syrup bottles.  In case you were wondering, I forgot to add funnels and a gallon of milk to the shopping list.  Do that now.


Step Four


Shake the now milk filled bottles until they are frothy, chocolatey, and yummy good.


Step Five


Cue up the 5-6-11 Late Late Monologue and drink that chocolate milk right out of the syrup bottle.

Remember that milk is full of air. You must belch to get that air out of you. Otherwise, there are really stinky ways that that air will come out.



That's it.

You now should be alert, ready to study, and able to sing the Teletubbies Song.




Don't forget to save the syrup bottle for your next study party.



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Lawyer' note:

Please don't do this. It's a joke. We here at 12dots DO NOT RECOMMEND THAT ANYONE DO THIS.  Instead get plenty of rest, eat right, and get exercise during exam time.


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