...

"...I'm a writer.

That's ONE of my jobs..."


Unless you ask WB and he'll say my actual job is to be some kind of voodoo Pin cushion that people can try to prick because their own life isn't exactly good. So they try to kick me instead.

That's his opinion.

When I started my experiement with the Zen moment, I didn't realize just how powerful the experience would be for me. That feeling of doing things for the joy of it. Waking up and saying to myself, "Now what can I do to reach my goals of..." and then doing them (remember all legal and moral) has been life changing.
For so long I've made my way in life thinking, "and is this okay with". I'm not being selfish. I do still consider other folks feelings but now I have this separate kind of self. Which is what FINALLY got me to say, "I'm going to take Tai Chi." Now the Tai Chi folks my philosphically (sp?) think that self should disolve. For me? I'm becoming aware of self.

LOL, wake up.

Anyway it's good for me. I go. I learn. I can't think of any other than tai chi when I do it.

And I'm reconnecting with my body.

There will be alot of "I" and "My" pronouns in the writing to follow. I will promise not to become boring narcissit (again sp).

Also should work on spelling.

Love and kisses,


Ann

PS. The celibacy thing isn't working for me.

And I miss David.

And I miss Newt/Lexi.

And?

I miss going to the theater.

.

It's still rainy outside. Woke up stretching like a cat and diving back under the covers.

Since I've yet to figure out how to exercise and write on the blog? I'm going to have to sign out for a bit.
Back later.

10-12-2011

Anne.

Hugs by the way. The thing I most miss about my old blog was the back and forth through time memory. I also miss chatting with Newt and hearing about Lexi.

And while I do love, love, love my dog? It's not exactly the furry face that I'm looking to wake up with.

LOL And that's when ... I've been coming to the place where I can say good bye to a memory. "Getting on with going forward" sounds like a cliche. Maybe its more "time to make a decision" or "perhaps you should stop procrastinating and just go say hello and find out what's next"?
Ireland is a long way away and he did say that he'd never talk to me again.

Maybe time has softened his heart. I don't want to keep "locked" in this memory box". "Whoa a oh oh. Changing is hard."

.

It's rainy and cool. I'm sitting on the edge of the bed covered in one of those soft polar fleece blankets. Domi is curled up in a ball. After weeks of heat it's as if someone FINALLY fixed the airconditioner and now it's lovely and sleepy and I'm thinking that if I could? I'd crawl back under the covers and read a book. Yesterday I was up at 4am washing clothes, feeding animals, cleaning pens, etc. Today? Well thanks to yesterday's industrious (spelling again) spurt, I've a kind of slack day.
The only thing missing is a good conversation in bed.
The kind that is about anything but bills, what Pups going to do, chores, etc.

The "R" word.

Romance.



LOL.

I'm thinking that the this road trip is necessary.

.