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The winds been kicking up all day. Forecast? Tomorrow rain and thunderstorms. Was listening to a song called Neptune City and remembering my Great Aunt. Pup took a shower and then decided to take a nap. A good idea.

It's that kind of day.
Not depressing, just tired or watchful.

Billy used to say there were days where your body needed a nap to heal from the outside world. This week and the weeks before it have been stressful.  Maybe we all need a bit of time to rest and catch our breath.

LOL I used to be such a night owl. Right now, I'm thinking that I like to go to sleep early and wake up early. I like to go to sleep after a hot bath and reading a good book. I get a hug. There's this lovely feeling of relief. Drifting to sleep and then waking up with the energy to be alive is a gift that I've never really appreciated. 

There's the hug from WB and from Pup. It's very real. I need that. As much as I love the world of the imagination, that reality is a tether to whats important. Real life. WB meets me at the door when I come back from seeing dad. He hugs my neck. He tells me it's going to be okay. Pup will say out of the blue, "Mom you need a hug." and then gives me a bear hug. I always smile because I know that he learned that from me. He'll be okay.

I've many times told the story of why I watched Craig Ferguson. The years after my son died weren't always easy. I had a life but that joy of laughter? It was elusive. For some reason the early Craig Ferguson got me to laugh. It was the spontaneous laughter not the polite kind. I love to think that he was someone who'd been through hell and back and survived. Someone who could still laugh. For  alittle bit each day, that humor was a tonic. It reminded me to breathe. Now it's WB and Pup who are giving me that place to be.

I'm grateful for those shows.  They awakened the sense of humor that I needed to live life.

Now? I need the sleep.

I'm going to miss waiting up to watch this show. Like a cup of tea, the show in the middle of the night was comforting. I'm going to watch when I can but I need the sleep. Just like I needed that laugh now I need that calm.



I miss my Great Aunt. I miss my PawPaw and MawMaw. I'm not sure I realized how lucky I was to have them in my life. I took foregranted that they'd always be with me. I could pick up a phone or go see them and there was never a time that I wasn't welcome to their homes. Being able to  be around my Dad now is a gift. One of the best gifts I've ever been given because I know how lucky I am to have this time. I'm welcome to be with him too. My dad is still here. Everyone around him says optimistic things about how far he's come. He's awake and can talk to me. I get a hug and a second chance to be around him. When others try to rush me off? He tells them I'm to stay. My stories get him to smile. "I'll bet there's a story..." he says. Then he waits to hear it. He never did that before. What a relief. 





My MawMaw used to tell us that there's food in the fridge and a nice warm bed. She'd leave the porch light on for us. Her home was always a port in the storms of life. I'm hoping to do the same for my son and for those friends, both real and virtual, who'll need a place to sit a bit. Maybe I'll even get them to laugh at their troubles just like tv's Craig Ferguson did for me a long time ago.


Hugs to all.

AuthorAnn

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