.
Note.
This is an active blog. I'm current writing in the comment section of this post:
http://12dotsandablot.blogspot.com/2011/05/blog-post_22.html
If you haven't already, you can start with the next post and then read them sequentially until you get to the post above OR you can click the link above and it will take you to were I'm writing at the moment.
Why? Well I'm taking a Zen break for the summer. Will be concentrating on finding something in each day to be thankful for or for a moment of peace. LOL, already there's been times when this looked like it would be difficult. On those days (yesterday for example) I've had to make a real effort to find or to make those moments. After all the terrible weather, the fussing with family, my dad nearly dying, the things that have intruded on my time with Pup or working on the boat, I had to make a conscious decision to say, "NO!" You're welcome to read. I know that I'm reading too.
I'm making a conscious decision to find peace and happy in my life and then teach Pup how to do this too.
People have been taking advantage of our good nature.
LOL Like Barney says,
Don't know about you but life is too short to be lived as a drama.
.
.
Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
.
So how was your weekend???
Pretty good holiday.
Normally it's filled with fussing or "angsting" about what has to be done. There are usually lists involved.
Today I can tell you that there were no lists this weekend other than an "already done" one. Did I get everything that I'd hoped to do done? No. I'd hoped to go to the river but didn't because we had things to do else where. It was okay because - well - what we did will free up time to work on the boat next weekend. So that's good.
What did we do?
Well -
We woke up every morning, said, "These are the things we need to do. What do we want to do?
How do we get closer to where we want to be?"
Then we did stuff.
Seriously? It was that simple.
Oh - oh and there was drama. A terrible fire. Not here but else where. But there was drama and some folks here were related to it by degrees.
Now then. This thing where you wake up and don't make detailed lists is kind of nice. Open your eyes and ask yourself, "What do I need to get done? What can I do to day?" Then, when you're finished? You write it down. I like the "already done" list. It kind of makes a person feel good when you write it down. Instead of that horrible, gigantic mountain of things to do? You have this lovely list of things that you've done.
Accomplishment.
No dread just anticipation.
Lot's of things I'd like to accomplish today.
Saying hello here and on Twitter was one of them.
Listening to alittle music was another.
To do? Done
Nice sound.
Looks like another weather day. LOL Have little time to finish up a project outside and then lots of time to write and wash clothes.
"Singing and dancing in the raaaaaiiiiiinnnnn..."
Hugs,
WriterAnn
.
...
So how was your weekend???
Pretty good holiday.
Normally it's filled with fussing or "angsting" about what has to be done. There are usually lists involved.
Today I can tell you that there were no lists this weekend other than an "already done" one. Did I get everything that I'd hoped to do done? No. I'd hoped to go to the river but didn't because we had things to do else where. It was okay because - well - what we did will free up time to work on the boat next weekend. So that's good.
What did we do?
Well -
We woke up every morning, said, "These are the things we need to do. What do we want to do?
How do we get closer to where we want to be?"
Then we did stuff.
Seriously? It was that simple.
Oh - oh and there was drama. A terrible fire. Not here but else where. But there was drama and some folks here were related to it by degrees.
Now then. This thing where you wake up and don't make detailed lists is kind of nice. Open your eyes and ask yourself, "What do I need to get done? What can I do to day?" Then, when you're finished? You write it down. I like the "already done" list. It kind of makes a person feel good when you write it down. Instead of that horrible, gigantic mountain of things to do? You have this lovely list of things that you've done.
Accomplishment.
No dread just anticipation.
Lot's of things I'd like to accomplish today.
Saying hello here and on Twitter was one of them.
Listening to alittle music was another.
To do? Done
Nice sound.
Looks like another weather day. LOL Have little time to finish up a project outside and then lots of time to write and wash clothes.
"Singing and dancing in the raaaaaiiiiiinnnnn..."
Hugs,
WriterAnn
.
...
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
.
The winds been kicking up all day. Forecast? Tomorrow rain and thunderstorms. Was listening to a song called Neptune City and remembering my Great Aunt. Pup took a shower and then decided to take a nap. A good idea.
It's that kind of day.
Not depressing, just tired or watchful.
Billy used to say there were days where your body needed a nap to heal from the outside world. This week and the weeks before it have been stressful. Maybe we all need a bit of time to rest and catch our breath.
LOL I used to be such a night owl. Right now, I'm thinking that I like to go to sleep early and wake up early. I like to go to sleep after a hot bath and reading a good book. I get a hug. There's this lovely feeling of relief. Drifting to sleep and then waking up with the energy to be alive is a gift that I've never really appreciated.
There's the hug from WB and from Pup. It's very real. I need that. As much as I love the world of the imagination, that reality is a tether to whats important. Real life. WB meets me at the door when I come back from seeing dad. He hugs my neck. He tells me it's going to be okay. Pup will say out of the blue, "Mom you need a hug." and then gives me a bear hug. I always smile because I know that he learned that from me. He'll be okay.
I've many times told the story of why I watched Craig Ferguson. The years after my son died weren't always easy. I had a life but that joy of laughter? It was elusive. For some reason the early Craig Ferguson got me to laugh. It was the spontaneous laughter not the polite kind. I love to think that he was someone who'd been through hell and back and survived. Someone who could still laugh. For alittle bit each day, that humor was a tonic. It reminded me to breathe. Now it's WB and Pup who are giving me that place to be.
I'm grateful for those shows. They awakened the sense of humor that I needed to live life.
Now? I need the sleep.
I'm going to miss waiting up to watch this show. Like a cup of tea, the show in the middle of the night was comforting. I'm going to watch when I can but I need the sleep. Just like I needed that laugh now I need that calm.
I miss my Great Aunt. I miss my PawPaw and MawMaw. I'm not sure I realized how lucky I was to have them in my life. I took foregranted that they'd always be with me. I could pick up a phone or go see them and there was never a time that I wasn't welcome to their homes. Being able to be around my Dad now is a gift. One of the best gifts I've ever been given because I know how lucky I am to have this time. I'm welcome to be with him too. My dad is still here. Everyone around him says optimistic things about how far he's come. He's awake and can talk to me. I get a hug and a second chance to be around him. When others try to rush me off? He tells them I'm to stay. My stories get him to smile. "I'll bet there's a story..." he says. Then he waits to hear it. He never did that before. What a relief.
My MawMaw used to tell us that there's food in the fridge and a nice warm bed. She'd leave the porch light on for us. Her home was always a port in the storms of life. I'm hoping to do the same for my son and for those friends, both real and virtual, who'll need a place to sit a bit. Maybe I'll even get them to laugh at their troubles just like tv's Craig Ferguson did for me a long time ago.
Hugs to all.
AuthorAnn
.
.
.
The winds been kicking up all day. Forecast? Tomorrow rain and thunderstorms. Was listening to a song called Neptune City and remembering my Great Aunt. Pup took a shower and then decided to take a nap. A good idea.
It's that kind of day.
Not depressing, just tired or watchful.
Billy used to say there were days where your body needed a nap to heal from the outside world. This week and the weeks before it have been stressful. Maybe we all need a bit of time to rest and catch our breath.
LOL I used to be such a night owl. Right now, I'm thinking that I like to go to sleep early and wake up early. I like to go to sleep after a hot bath and reading a good book. I get a hug. There's this lovely feeling of relief. Drifting to sleep and then waking up with the energy to be alive is a gift that I've never really appreciated.
There's the hug from WB and from Pup. It's very real. I need that. As much as I love the world of the imagination, that reality is a tether to whats important. Real life. WB meets me at the door when I come back from seeing dad. He hugs my neck. He tells me it's going to be okay. Pup will say out of the blue, "Mom you need a hug." and then gives me a bear hug. I always smile because I know that he learned that from me. He'll be okay.
I've many times told the story of why I watched Craig Ferguson. The years after my son died weren't always easy. I had a life but that joy of laughter? It was elusive. For some reason the early Craig Ferguson got me to laugh. It was the spontaneous laughter not the polite kind. I love to think that he was someone who'd been through hell and back and survived. Someone who could still laugh. For alittle bit each day, that humor was a tonic. It reminded me to breathe. Now it's WB and Pup who are giving me that place to be.
I'm grateful for those shows. They awakened the sense of humor that I needed to live life.
Now? I need the sleep.
I'm going to miss waiting up to watch this show. Like a cup of tea, the show in the middle of the night was comforting. I'm going to watch when I can but I need the sleep. Just like I needed that laugh now I need that calm.
I miss my Great Aunt. I miss my PawPaw and MawMaw. I'm not sure I realized how lucky I was to have them in my life. I took foregranted that they'd always be with me. I could pick up a phone or go see them and there was never a time that I wasn't welcome to their homes. Being able to be around my Dad now is a gift. One of the best gifts I've ever been given because I know how lucky I am to have this time. I'm welcome to be with him too. My dad is still here. Everyone around him says optimistic things about how far he's come. He's awake and can talk to me. I get a hug and a second chance to be around him. When others try to rush me off? He tells them I'm to stay. My stories get him to smile. "I'll bet there's a story..." he says. Then he waits to hear it. He never did that before. What a relief.
My MawMaw used to tell us that there's food in the fridge and a nice warm bed. She'd leave the porch light on for us. Her home was always a port in the storms of life. I'm hoping to do the same for my son and for those friends, both real and virtual, who'll need a place to sit a bit. Maybe I'll even get them to laugh at their troubles just like tv's Craig Ferguson did for me a long time ago.
Hugs to all.
AuthorAnn
.
.
.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Some folks have a "bucket list"...
.
I have a "happy list"
Things that make me happy?
I read poetry. Honest.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Robert Frost
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
I don't know about you Gentle Reader but I'm starting to smile.
:D
.
.
I have a "happy list"
Things that make me happy?
I read poetry. Honest.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Robert Frost
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
I don't know about you Gentle Reader but I'm starting to smile.
:D
.
.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Just another manic Monday...
.
I'm going to get to see my folks and my boat and WB and Pup.
Which I'm really, really happy about.
Will let you know tonight or tomorrow how it worked out.
Cross your fingers, your toes, your nose, and your heart that things will work out.
Love,
Ann
,
I'm going to get to see my folks and my boat and WB and Pup.
Which I'm really, really happy about.
Will let you know tonight or tomorrow how it worked out.
Cross your fingers, your toes, your nose, and your heart that things will work out.
Love,
Ann
,
Friday, July 2, 2010
Discomfort
LoL , yeah I know. I'm supposed to be on holiday but things happen even in this slacker life.
First I'm going to post something here. It's from something I wrote on another blog awhile back. Maybe it could explain a bit. Turn a river. Prevent someone from feeling uncomfortable in their life choices.
It's about the first time I laughed. After my son died.
And some days? Aren’t.
“…One day at a time is the best way to deal with this. And trust me there are going to be good days as well as bad ones. I still remember the first time I really laughed after my family member died. First I laughed out loud and then I stopped in a kind of shocked silence. It felt so good to be happy after being sad for so long. After that I began to look out side of my grief at the world. Still had the bad days but there were good ones too. Now more good than bad…”
I was writing to someone who'd lost a loved one. It's so hard. This week I talked to yet another person who'd lost someone close to them. She had the same experience that I did. So did her mom. There is that moment when enough time has passed that you laugh. Then in some cruel mean thing the second after that laugh you feel this tremendous guilt for being happy. How can you be happy after someone you'd loved so much has experienced such pain. You should always feel that pain too.
You shouldn't but the thing is that a person at that stage of grief is in pain.
As time passes, months for some and years for others, the pain or your reaction to it changes. You do forget but you come to realize that to make yourself feel so sad as a kind of punishment for surviving isn't right. You begin to see that being happy and going on with your life is really a good thing. For me that laughter took a while to change from a blue to a delightful yellow. It just takes time.
I watch Craig Ferguson for a reason. You see for some unknown reason he was the person who got me to laugh. The very first time that I saw his show and he told a joke, I laughed. Since then I've begun a kind of self directed laugh "therapy". It's worked. I've begun to "color". Life that had been black and white became like those old technicolor movies. Oh, it took a while for the unhappy to fade but it did. Then last year when I got to go see water again I felt joy. The old joy came back. Like a seed it grew. Happy. It started with that very first laugh.
(I'm sorry for the sentence fragments but it seems like a good idea to leave them be.)
I used to have a writing buddy. She once was in the process of writing a story when I asked her not to kill off the main characters. It was a beautiful story but I'd read enough of her stories to know that the ending probably would be all kinds of uncomfortable. After I asked she told me not to analyze the story but to feel and enjoy it just where it was and each minute until it's conculsion. She told me that to understand the story I needed to feel it. If I analyzed it I'd have to break it into pieces. That would tear the story and the viseral feeling. Now I think that is how my life is. I don't want to analyze it because it's taken me so long to get where I can feel it again. Happy. Sad. Joy or sorrow are in perspective. Nolonger colored by the pain of losing my son.
LOL
A kids song from my Sunday School days.
"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Down in my heart. Down in my heart."
It feels pretty good.
I know that these last couple of posts have seemed odd and out of character. This is truly ironic. My writing and blogs is me being a writer. In order to learn to create believeable characters, the "I" of the writer, the id, must be secondary to the story. True there is the writer's voice but that's just the house of words where the characters live. It is ironic because these "uncharacteristic" blog posts are actually very characteristic of the real me. If I had this "life"? I'd be exhausted.
LOL I'm not broken. It's the opposite. I've been healing. Gently. Trying to laugh every day. The laughter feels very very good. It's made me appreciate the happy. You know like the morning after a storm when it's sunny. Everyone is safe.
Happy.
Hugs,
Ann
PS Now I'll go back to writing this character who I have great affection for.
First I'm going to post something here. It's from something I wrote on another blog awhile back. Maybe it could explain a bit. Turn a river. Prevent someone from feeling uncomfortable in their life choices.
It's about the first time I laughed. After my son died.
And some days? Aren’t.
“…One day at a time is the best way to deal with this. And trust me there are going to be good days as well as bad ones. I still remember the first time I really laughed after my family member died. First I laughed out loud and then I stopped in a kind of shocked silence. It felt so good to be happy after being sad for so long. After that I began to look out side of my grief at the world. Still had the bad days but there were good ones too. Now more good than bad…”
I was writing to someone who'd lost a loved one. It's so hard. This week I talked to yet another person who'd lost someone close to them. She had the same experience that I did. So did her mom. There is that moment when enough time has passed that you laugh. Then in some cruel mean thing the second after that laugh you feel this tremendous guilt for being happy. How can you be happy after someone you'd loved so much has experienced such pain. You should always feel that pain too.
You shouldn't but the thing is that a person at that stage of grief is in pain.
As time passes, months for some and years for others, the pain or your reaction to it changes. You do forget but you come to realize that to make yourself feel so sad as a kind of punishment for surviving isn't right. You begin to see that being happy and going on with your life is really a good thing. For me that laughter took a while to change from a blue to a delightful yellow. It just takes time.
I watch Craig Ferguson for a reason. You see for some unknown reason he was the person who got me to laugh. The very first time that I saw his show and he told a joke, I laughed. Since then I've begun a kind of self directed laugh "therapy". It's worked. I've begun to "color". Life that had been black and white became like those old technicolor movies. Oh, it took a while for the unhappy to fade but it did. Then last year when I got to go see water again I felt joy. The old joy came back. Like a seed it grew. Happy. It started with that very first laugh.
(I'm sorry for the sentence fragments but it seems like a good idea to leave them be.)
I used to have a writing buddy. She once was in the process of writing a story when I asked her not to kill off the main characters. It was a beautiful story but I'd read enough of her stories to know that the ending probably would be all kinds of uncomfortable. After I asked she told me not to analyze the story but to feel and enjoy it just where it was and each minute until it's conculsion. She told me that to understand the story I needed to feel it. If I analyzed it I'd have to break it into pieces. That would tear the story and the viseral feeling. Now I think that is how my life is. I don't want to analyze it because it's taken me so long to get where I can feel it again. Happy. Sad. Joy or sorrow are in perspective. Nolonger colored by the pain of losing my son.
LOL
A kids song from my Sunday School days.
"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Down in my heart. Down in my heart."
It feels pretty good.
I know that these last couple of posts have seemed odd and out of character. This is truly ironic. My writing and blogs is me being a writer. In order to learn to create believeable characters, the "I" of the writer, the id, must be secondary to the story. True there is the writer's voice but that's just the house of words where the characters live. It is ironic because these "uncharacteristic" blog posts are actually very characteristic of the real me. If I had this "life"? I'd be exhausted.
LOL I'm not broken. It's the opposite. I've been healing. Gently. Trying to laugh every day. The laughter feels very very good. It's made me appreciate the happy. You know like the morning after a storm when it's sunny. Everyone is safe.
Happy.
Hugs,
Ann
PS Now I'll go back to writing this character who I have great affection for.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Rainbow connection...
Then there's the version that seems like home.
"Songs are like dream stories. They're the things that are important to us told sometimes in photographs and if we're lucky in long, lovely complete sentences."
Author Ann 1 July,2010.
I guess since I'm quoting myself it's okay to change it to:
"Songs are like dream stories. They're the ideas that are important to us told sometimes in snapshots and (if we are lucky) in long, lovely complete (and complex) sentences."
AuthorAnn
1 July, 2010
Yep, that'll do.
Happy holiday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
