Wednesday, September 22, 2010

For the record.


I don't really write on this blog. I really don't. It's not even a journal. It's more of a distraction. A "to do" list of sorts. Sorry that it's not more but life outside is calling.

ahh woooooo

Not to worry. If there's an actual plot point?

I'll let you know.



to do?
Raising Hope and Wilde? Pretty good.

Watching Cold Cold Comfort Farm

My Oh My Good morning.



The sun is shining.

The birds are singing.

It's neither too hot ot too cold.

Thank the Lord.

Life is good.

Now then.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Happy New Moon


I dunno. Sounded like a good idea at the time.


Now stop reading and go outside. Run through the air "nekkid".
Breath in the air of one thousand auto exhausts.


Letters to Pup


I'm going to try one more time.


How do I explain this.

Complicated lives?

Seems simplistic.

Once I wrote about memory like snapshots. When I asked a complete stranger (in a conversation) what her earliest memory was? She told me. When I asked another they told me too.

Some of the memories were like a video. They had movement and even if it was only a short, fragmented one? They had a story.


Were only a photograph. Clear or out of focus.

I wonder?

People sometimes say that the truth is in " and white..." when they mean that it's clear and without embelishment.

Thing is, even black and white photos can be in soft focus and like a dreamed memory.


Send Me The Moon






I wrote it here.

Now it's gone.



These posts are for my son. To steal them is the worst form of thief. They will not ring true for you as they will for me.



A type of punctuation. You may have taken the words. Hidden them. But they are still there inside of me. Inside of my son.


The words aren't lost just hidden from view by a mean, mean, mean computer thief.



How lucky am I.


Dear Pup,

Because of you I became at once fierce and calm.

They thought you'd get here before the doctor got did. The night before you're father and I drove like very careful maniacs trying our best to get back to the hospital. The day before we had to talk like it was the most rational decision to go home and feed Smokie. We weren't stupid. We could here the doc saying that you'd come pretty quick. I don't know why but we knew it would be okay.

You're like the eye of a huricane sometimes. Calm in the middle of the storm.

LOL I think that your dad was in a panic by the time we got there. What were we thinking? 70 miles to the doctor. 70 miles back to get Smokie. Then 70 miles back in a race to get back to the hospital before you came out. I can remember telling the receptionist that I thought that I might be in labor but wasn't sure.

So calm.

All night I sat and talked to the delivery nurse. She told me about her life. There's calm in that. If you're troubles are too big? Go ask someone to tell you about their life. Find someone who might have sense or who'd survived their life's sorrows, and ask them to tell you about it. Make sure that it's someone who needs someone to listen. They'll be so glad and you might have a different perspective on your own troubles.

Don't forget to hug their neck too.



"It was hot and they were sitting outside of the fast food place. Tired. Dirty. The two of them. I asked them if they needed something to eat. I wasn't the best of people to them. When we went inside the manager tried to throw them out. One of the customers standing in line came to their rescue. There was almost a fight because they'd been inside already and been thrown out. We got the food and went back outside into the heat. Late summer. It was "gawdawful" hot.

That's when I saw the miracle of a hug. I just hugged the lady. She began to cry. Told me "Thank you." even after what had happened. People are inside little kids. They keep it safe inside them, sometimes behind vast walls and barbed wire. Safe that little flame of hope. The stuff you have when you are born.

Hope and the ability to love."



Love. Keep it safe by giving it freely.



Dear Pup..


The things you think about when you are young? They aren't the same as when you grow old. Today we talked about your future. I so admire you tenacity. I love your strength. I talked and I talked trying to get you to say something. Your future. I want so bad for you to find something that makes you happy. Then I could use every bit of my strenght to help you get there.

I wrote 12 dogs as a way to find my future and make some sense of the past. I didn't plan to, I just leaped from that chair in the living room. I'd said the words, "I don't want to be anymore. Then I quickly changed my mind. Lucky me. Slowly I began to find that path you are looking for. It took me so long to do so and so much time wasted. That's why I'm so fierce now for you. Time. You think when you are young you have so much. You do.

If for some terrible reason we loose each other, you can always find me in that maze, 12 dogs and a blot. You're smart. You'll find a time when you need a distraction and you are looking for a shoulder to lean on. For an ephemeral moment you'll find this home within me to find comfort. It's a puzzle. There will be times when you will curse me for that.


In the struggle to put 12 dogs back together? You will find me. You will find the peace that you need. I want to be there too.

It's not my job.

It's who I am.

I love you.

I always will.

You've become not only my son but you've become my friend.



When you were two, I gave you a book. Winnie the Pooh. It's inscribed. I meant it then and I mean it now.

You really are a good story.

Best memory? The day you read all by yourself.

The proudest accomplishment? Teaching you how to read.

The best advice?

Honey, sometimes you just have to slog through and count your blessings no matter how small they might seem at the time. A bad day is just that. One day. There'll be a good next day. Remember that.

Wait one more day.
Count to 10.
Go for a 15 minute walk.
Say you're sorry.
If you love them and you get so upset you want to let go of their hand? Ask why.

A good nights sleep is a blessing.

You'll do just fine.

All words fail?
Hugs will be enough.

You are such a person. :D


Monday, September 20, 2010



You know, once upon a time I wrote parody about political stuff on my little blog on the prairie. LOL

Uh yeah about that question, "Why?"

Because she's running for office and it's a clip.

For me it's like seeing a quote with elipses (...), there are a few important word that might have been left out. Like the imfamous words of Bill Clinton where he said that he "...did not have sex with..."

I can understand Ms. ODonnell's reluctance about appearing on Bill Maher's show. This close to the elections it could be damaging to her campaign. Sound bites can be brutal to a politician. This would be quite the mine field. If you don't believe me? Ask the good doctor/ex governor of Vermont or the Rep from Ohio. One missplaced "whoop" or ironic comment and your dreams of being elected are over.

However --

I don't understand the Tea Party, Republican, and Sarah Palin's support if this is indeed an issue for them. They certainly have no problem expressing their disagreements on issues they're unhappy with. Were there no other candidates to support? Did they forgive Ms ODonnel's past? Does this mean they're going to forgive Bill Clinton's (not) inhaling pot?

This isn't about my personal opinion on Ms. ODonnel's views, past or present.

It's about being able to find the information as to what this woman says she thinks and its validity. I agree with Bill Maher asking her to come back on his show. He's asking for clarification and he's in a good position to do so since it was on his show that these comments were made. So much of what we hear about a candidate is filtered by political bias and then we're asked to vote on this candidate. This year with the "Anyone's better than the incumbent" attitude, I'm worried that we will be "throwing the baby out with the bath water" by just voting for anyone new.

But at the same time, this is politics. A game of power. She's beat out the Republican candidate as we'll as being in a possition to beat the Democrat too.

Anyway here's one of the clips in question.

From Bill Maher's show.