Saturday, January 14, 2012



Deeeeep sigh.

Deeeeepp, contemplative sigh.


I had this thing to write about but was busy trying to keep pups from becoming frozen.


Can't remember.

I can remember it was fantastic and Earth shaking news.


In other news? Craig Ferguson is in contract negotiations with CBS.

I think he should to on cable like Bill Maher did. Can curse like a sailor and no one has a problem with repeats.

I'd watch.

I'd have to actually get a television and cable tv but then if it meant seeing an uncensored Craig Ferguson? Might be worth it.


Friday, January 13, 2012


There is one good thing this morning.

According to the stats?
Apparently there are alot of people reading my blog this morning. Yay.

Oh who am I kidding.

They're probably just here to post spam about handbags.

But then? Maybe not.

Just in case?

I don't know who you are but welcome to the funny farm.



Writer Ann


There are typos.

I'm not going back to fix them.

I'm very very very busy this morning.

No time to proof read anything.

Just call it part of the charm of the blog and get over it.





I went back and reread the to do and already done list for today. Notice there is no mention of a lovely person handing me a cup of cocoa and shooshing me back into my office to write. There are no flower on my desk or kiss on my cheek. That is because at the moment the only place that I usually have privacy here,aka the bathroom, is occupied by pups.

I have to write people. I'm a writer. It's what I'm supposed to be doing.


And it's Friday the 13th.

And my feet are cold.

Really and truly cold.

I haven't had sex in forever.

I do not like being celibate.

It's sucks more than having cold feet.



Crap, out of buttermilk, have to add get butter milk to today's to do list.

I hate to do lists almost as much as putting "" around things.

Yes, I do know better.

No, I'm not. I'm supposed to be slacker. See. Up there in the title. It's says, The Slacker Chronicles. That's me. Slacker.

I'm suposed to be slacking not running round checking things off my "to do" list.

Again ack.


gotta go.



Okay God here's the deal.

I know that we need cold weather. It's part of the circle of life thingy but seriously. It's cold. The temperature droped 50 degrees in 49 hours. I went from wearing shorts to wearing double layers of clothes.


(And it's Friday the 13th.)

Everyone's cranky.

The two legged people and the four and two legged critters are really cranky. Cassanova (the rooster) attacked me when I tried to put him in the now luxury chicken condo. I was trying to put him some place warm and he tried to spur me. HE JUMPED ON TOP OF THE CHICKEN HOUSE AND TRIED TO ATTACK ME WITH HIS FEET. HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE FEET. THERE ARE CLAWS AT THE END OF THEM. Sorry for shouting but he tried to attack me. LOL. I can't wait to try and take him out of the luxury chicken condo with indoor heat. If I weren't so soft hearted, I'd leave him in the chicken pen but that wouldn't be nice.

I am changing his name.

His new name?
Chicken Pot Pie.


I'm going to the beach next weekend.

I'm going to sit in a lawn chair in the sand and hope that it's not raining.
I'm going to sit in a lawn chair in the sand on the beach even if it is raining.
I'll wear an umbrella and a hat.

Hopefully? A miracle will happen and I'll have a romantic encounter.

Or at the very least?
I'll go out to eat without dog print and dog hair on my person.

I will be the elegant, grown up that I am.

Underneath all this animal stuff.

Sure, I'll miss the two and four legged critters but I need a break.

Love and kisses,


(PS If you're Newt and you're reading this? Hug. I can really use a hug.)

Now then, I'm off to the fun of living on a farm.

Back tonight to let you know what all we did this week. It was eventful.

And it started by me getting bit on the butt by a tick.

I'm not kidding.

I really, reaaally, reeaaallllly need that beach break.

I got bit on the but by a tick people.

It hurt.

I could have gotten, get this, DISEASES!!!!!!!

More tonight.



LOL. Oh mercy. I just looked at the calender.

It's Friday, 13th or January.

AKA. Friday the 13th.

If I didn't already have enough complications.


I've got Friday, the 13th to contend with.


Three day weekend. WB will be here to help put up insulation in cabin.

Hopefully will be warmer tonight and we won't see out breath inside the cabin.

That's for outside.



Next couple of posts are new.

Will let you know how things go tonight. Hopefully I'll get to go to fencing tomorrow instead of spending the morning wrangling animals.

Missed tai chi yesterday and alreay I'm feeling cranky. Of course that could be because I spent part of last night sleeping with the dogs. Nothing says fun like a dog pouncing on a full bladder at 2am. Especially fun if the bathroom is next door and you have to try and lock the cabin door with gloves on while you have to pee and the dogs are running around and around barking because it's COLD and they want to go inside.

That MIGHT have something to do with me being cranky this AM.

OR it could be that the same pup who woke me up at 2am by poucing on my full bladder also woke me up again this AM by pouncing, licking me in the face, and demanding to go for walkies.

LOL. No sleeping through this Friday the 13th.

Like the sign says, "Keep calm. Carry on."

(I love my dogs. I love my dogs. I love my dogs. I love my dogs. Oh crap.
Seriously, we don't do this level of cold. That's why I have a sailboat and the dogs have short hair.)



Well, we almost made it through the night.

When Ivan finally jumped on my stomach at the exact time I had to go pee?
When I could see my breath inside the new cabin?

I did the only sane thing I could think of.

We all went inside.

The pups were joyous and I got to go tinkle without it freezing mid stream.

The good news is that WB brought insulation and I have (thanks to a heck of a good power extention cord have electricity. Took a bit of work and a ccouple of blown fuses. Did get the chickens sorted with heat lamps and plastic. Good news is that I now have the lamps needed for the brooder next spring. Yay.

Sun is out. Gonna let the pups out for their walkies and then inside for treat. Swap out the clean chicken water for the dirty one. Clean the dirty one (I do this daily. Makes for happy chickens. Make sure that the chicken bfood bowl is filled. Collect eggs. Move the chickens back into the chicken yard. Put the pups up. Clean the water bowls in the kennels (have to wait until mid day to do clean up because of the ice.)

Wash towels because today is Friday and it's wash the towels day.

Call mom to find out about my aunt.

Get the mail.

Already done list for this morning.

Walked two sets of outside dogs.
Made sure that the dog kennels are clean.
Dumped ice out of water bowls. Maked sure they have water. Will wash water bowls when it warms up outside.
Made sure that there's food and water for outside dogs.
Fed, walked, and gave meds to one of inside dogs.
Walked another of the pups.
Put one of the pups in the bathroom.
Made sure that bathroom floor is clean (disinfected).
Cleaned the water bowls and put food in the bowls in the bathroom for now inside pup.
Fed the bird.
Made sure that there is food and water for inside pups.
Found the other heater for cabin.
Checked on cabin to see if the heater that is outside is working.
Found broom and dust pan for cabin.

Made sure that the gates are closed.


Milk, rolls, ham, cheese, and buttermilk.


Homemade vegetable soup, ham and cheese sandwiches, bananas, and milk.


Cause baby? It's frickin' cold outside.

:D Ann,



Thursday, January 12, 2012



For the first time EVAH!! (at least on this blog)

Someone has posted in the comments.

True, it's a SPAM post about knock off hand bags but it is a comment.

Hurrah and hurray!!!

Now if I can only get someone to actually say hello?

I'd be delighted.


I really and truly do not like this song.

I reeaaaaaly don't.

It reminds me of this couple who'd been married 27 years, raised kids, and then divorced. Everyone who knew them was apparently required to take sides. They were both nice people but they married really young. When the kids grew up and moved out? They realized that there wasn't any relationship left. Very sad. First they let you know that you aren't welcome and then when you finally leave they tell you that they knew it would never last. Funny, it took less than a year for one of those busy bodies to fill the ex's shoes.

I didn't take sides because I like them both.

So someone? Give the "Sister Better Thans who make folks feel unwelcome cause what they really want is to be in the other person's shoes" a big ole kick in the ass.

LOL bunch of busybody gossips.

Besides. I was in one of those relationships. Lost alot of so called friends because of it. Found out that he was seeing me and someoneelse at the same time. Guess the folks who said I wasn't good enough missed that bit of gossip.

I really don't like this song.



Tuesday, January 10, 2012


There's only one reason to own a microwave.

Microwaved chocolate ice cream.



Goals for 2012

"Queenly tips for living the good life..."

1) Treat yourself royally.

2) Honor who you are.

3) Do what you love.

4) Embrace your age.

To do list?

Go to the "Over 50 and feeling nifty." meet up at the Burger King.

Get a breakfast burito.

Come back later and order the Whopper for supper.


Feeling pitiful.



Roll Tide.


Valentine's Day sucks.

It always has except for one time.

But the rest of them?



Now I'm supposed to be plucky, put on a happy face and celebrate my loving nature.


I'm going to the Kroger. Gonna' buy a dozen roses.

And tear the petals off each one of them one petal at a time.

"...Does he love me? No. Does he love me not? Yes. repeat..."

I will not be plucky.

I will be sucky.

I do know the difference.


Happy Valentine's Day, Irish David. I don't know where you are, but, thanks to you, I know what romantic looks like.


Unfortunately, while I may know what it looks like.
I don't see it anywhere.

And, no, I'm not going to make the best of it or celebrate the love in the world by making some assine post like

(although it is an excellent mind worm)


I'm gonna go with this:

Daaaayyyooo. Daayayyayayo.

Daylignt come and me waanna goooo....

to the beach.

LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOL, I love my dog(s).

Soldier on.



"... Apparently it was all a lie. An elegant fiction designed to fcuk with my head. Or it was some kind of psychological attempt to kill the optimism in my heart...."

Winter Soltice

C Anne Ford

I got bit by a tick. Nasty little tick. Bit me on my butt. 

That's not the point.

I don't know if I trust a man who tells his significant other to go to a complete stranger to get medical care on the same day that he's going to his own doctor.  It doesn't seem right.  You'd think that if you are claiming to love the person, you'd tell them to come see your doctor. It's not like asking a guy to go see a gynecologist.
No, it's like NOT asking someone to go see your doctor. It is, instead, asking them to go see a strange doctor at the free clinic on the exact same day and hour that you're going to see your private doctor.

The reason?


My guess is that the guy's got a thing for one of the staff and he doesn't want them to know that he's married.

Or he's going to get tested for VD.

I'm hoping for the second option or both if it's actually the first one. Nothing says revenge for roving like a burning pee pee. :D

Whhheeeeeeee. (tee hee)

Which reminds me.

Could it possibly be time to think about the ultimate Venereal Disease, Valentine's Day?


This year I have the best Valentine's Day Hurricane Hole.

A real one.

I can wine and dine my own self.
Gonna grill steak and drink tea.




Roll Tide