Saturday, January 18, 2014

Still holding true.  No weird views on the stats for this blog. It's like reading in the dark on a day when there's lots of snow.  Quiet.  Hushed. Lovely.  It's good for now.  I can not only hear the air, I can on some levels feel it. Viscous.  It that's possible.

Going to get some sleep.

Sarah Jarosz 's cover of Bob Dylan's   Come On Up To The House


There's a line in the song , "...The world is not my home. I'm just a passing through..."

I'm thinking it's from this song

This world is not my home I'm just a passing through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue
The angels beckon me from heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore
Oh Lord you know I have no friend like you
If heaven's not my home then Lord what will I do
The angels beckon me from heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore

I have a loving mother just over in Gloryland
And I don't expect to stop until I shake her hand
She's waiting now for me in heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore
Oh Lord you know...
[ guitar ]
Just over in Gloryland we'll live eternaly the saints on every hand are shouting victory
Their songs of sweetest praise drift back from heaven's shore
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore
Oh Lord you know...

WB sings this all the time.   I sing my version (same melody but not the same lyrics "...This world is not my home. I'm just a passing through. My home is up in Heaven, way up in the blue. My home is up in Heaven. Way up in the sky. The world is not my home. I'm just a passing through..."

I've always thought that we have a hand in our time when we die.  It comes from hearing of people who've tried to go to the light but then stop and go back.  Which leads to the questions of are we being reincarnated when we go to the light.  Is that the first real memory; the light that we first see going from the uterus to the outside world. What happens if a baby isn't born?  Does it stay in a reality like the present? Like when people say that they went toward the light but then stopped and woke up?  When my father was in his coma, he said that he saw a place where the  people were happy and kind. He said it was a type of Heaven. 

Do we tell God or whoever is in the next life, "I'm not ready to leave where I've been. I have to stay."

Does he answer back, "Sure, I'll see you later. No worries."

Once, many years ago, I thought that I was having a heart attack.  I remember praying to God that I couldn't leave because I didn't want to leave my son alone. I put my hand over the place that hurt and asked God to make the pain stop and heal the problem.  I just didn't have the luxury of going to Heaven.  The pain stopped.  My son had fallen asleep next to me. I'd been telling him a story and he'd fallen asleep. I couldn't stand the idea of him waking up next to me after I had died. Even worse, I couldn't stand leaving him alone.  Not as young as he was.  I always thought that he was spared that sadness.


I read this and can remember the funny feeling of being still and then just the knowledge that it was going to be okay.


I went to look at the stats.  It went from crazy to zero views. Had I known this earlier?  I'd have gone private along time ago.  VampireStat?  I don't know you.  I won't miss you.  From what I've read about you on the Internet?  You are no good.

No views? Good news.


Have sent work to publisher.

As for private life. LoL 

I'm delighted to have a conversation with nice folks this AM.  This afternoon I tread on suck.  It's weird to watch things happen.  I was correct about the answer to the question, "How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?" I was also correct in the assessment of determination of those involved.  I'm pretty sure that the combination of above will lead to a heady mix of angst.

The question is?

"Is it worth the hassle?"

For me? Probably not.

This isn't a sorority or a charity. It's a club that blew through a whole lot and now they are trying to conjure the illusion of imperative to make up for the money that was wasted on a defunct dock. 

"Hurry! Pay extra dues! Sell these tickets!! Quick there's not much time!!!"

They don't want to hear what I have to say.

Lol and they wanted to tell me that Cliff's was too expensive. Funny.

There's no way I'm going to ask the people I know to pay money for tickets when the recipient club isn't a charity.  It's like sorority AND politics rolled into one.


Friday, January 17, 2014

Blog note:

Just took my Twitter and my blog private.

Now I can write in peace and  use the blog/tweet to chat with family.


time to start writing.




Thursday, January 16, 2014

A valentine for my brother's ex girl friend.

I knew this person. 

No, not Mcphee.

My brother's ex girl friend.  I just found out tonight that she'd died.

Had things gone differently, she'd have been my sister in law.  The way she left this planet was much different than when I first met her. I remember seeing her mother and step father at a cafeteria in Montgomery, Alabama.  I was with my mother, dad, and son. We'd met for lunch and was on our way out when we heard someone call our name. It was her mom.

My brother and her daughter had broken it off. She married someone There was that cordial chill in which you observe the politeness called for but everyone knows that things aren't good.  My brother was still in college. One of the smaller diamonds on my mom's left hand had been her original engagement diamond.  It was years  before my mom got the others. A lot hours on the job. My mom just didn't understand why someone would ask her son, who had no job, for such a large stone.  To be fair it was probably my brother's fault. My folks were footing the bill for his college, his car, his apartment, basically his existence. He had a lot more college left. If he got any ring at all it would have to have come from my mother. He was so oblivious to all this that he didn't tell his girlfriend that the only thing he could give would be a cigar paper ring. He  assumed that they'd pay for the ring too. He let her think that my parents would foot the bill like they did for every other thing in his life.  My mom would accept a lot of thing but not  when it came to money and her "baby".  So she started quietly breaking them up. Started saying that my brother's girlfriend only wanted him for money he didn't have. By the time my brother asked her to spend the weekend with us in Louisiana?  I think that it was done. She wasn't my brother's girlfriend any more.

We stood there in the restaurant while her mother told us about her daughter.  She had cancer and they had to cut off her leg. Her husband was so good to her.. He took care of her during the stuff you face with cancer. All the time, I could see her jaw working. I didn't know the rest until tonight.

I'm glad that she ended the relationship with my brother.  I was happy when I first heard it but really happy when I read how her life ended.  All the things that she did?  She wouldn't have done them had she married my brother. He wouldn't have taken as good of care of her. He's such a type A person he'd have made the time they would have been married  a real pain. She'd have been miserable and sick.  She had family who would love and support her. With my brother and mother? No.

I feel bad for my brother.  I don't know how he feels about this or if he even knows she's died. I do know that his wife looks just like the old girl friend.  When  I asked him about it he had a fit. I haven't had a decent conversation with him since then. Deep down inside, I hit a nerve.

RIP madam, I can't imagine it was easy raising a family while your were dying but you did.
Good for you. It's my brother's loss.  I'm so glad that you didn't have to deal with him, my mom, and cancer too.


To be or not to be...

Dear World,
Many, many, many, many years ago,  I met someone who took my breath away. This was long ago before the Internet let folks date people who they'd never been in the same room with.  This was the age of pen pals. It was all very kismet.  I was away from home for the first time (school). We met almost by divine accident.  We wrote about our homes and our lives.
We were friends.
We were so far away from each other that it just seemed impossible that there would be anything but friendship between us.
After all this time I wonder what happened to him.
Did he marry?
Did he have kids?
Is he happy?
So much could have happened to him.
So much has happened to me.
I'm sitting here with less than a month before VD and I'm wondering this.
I have an idea of how to contact him but I'm wondering if this is a good idea.
I need an unbiased opinion.
So I'm asking for help.
I know that you don't know me but maybe that's better.
Should I try to find him? 
Should I go outside and hug the dogs and buy that pair of shoes I've been looking at?
I've been listening to Hunter Hayes.
but not nuts.

Now this is a VD to aspire to.


Life is complicated.

Blog  stupid...




It's already been a looooonnnnggg week.



Thought long and hard about it.

I'm not getting sucked into other people's crazy.

No drahhhma here.

I'm out of here and into the sunshine.

Or a nap.

Hope that you have a great day.






note from author

Folks, I'm really and truly tired.  It's cold this morning so the pups and chickens are sleeping in. I'm going to get some sleep as well. Part of it is lack of sleep for the last week. With the unusual weather, Pup and I have been wrangling animals so that they won't turn into Pup-sicles.  Last night I listened for sounds of trees falling and pups uncomfortable.  As I lay there, I also ran through what happened yesterday.  I was so tired and so sad about it all. 

It's going to be sunny and warm this afternoon. Think I'll get a nap now and then go out to play with the dogs later. Not lazy. I just need to sleep and so do the pups.

I could use a hug. This is really a disappointing development. 


In other good news, this isn't a pain day. Just lack of sleep over an extended time period.

Boy am I looking forward to the spring..



Lucy in the world without the diamonds...


I've been thinking about yesterday....


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

This is a GENERAL post and not in anyway directed at the nice person who publishes books. Just reminding myself that if someone shoots me a bird? That's their problem not mine.

All together.

"...I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
    Get along with the voices inside of my head
    You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath
    And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy

    Well that's not fair..."

No more being the Emotional Dipsty Dumpster for other people.
No more angry at situations that other folks have no problem with regardless if it hurts me.

I'm good.

Was thinking on the ride home that it's good not to give another human being the power to feel that they know best about your life and not you. Especially NOT good to give that power to people who are almost complete strangers. If someone shoots me a bird because they're having a bad day?

That's their problem.

I'm good with where I'm going.

Thanks for the advice. If it works? I'll take it but if not please don't be hurt.  It's just advice not a ball and chain.

Hope the weather person is wrong and that it's warmer than the prediction.


You know, today was a pretty good day.

So was yesterday.


What a great song for the animals at the animal shelter.
If you are thinking of finding a furry, hoofed, winged, or reptilian friend?
There are some really lovely animals at the shelter who'd love a home.


True story.

There was a dog sitting on the side of the road.

A very nice person saw this pup.

When she went that way again the pup was still there.

So, nice person that she is, she decided to give the pup some dog treats.

She did this.

And then the next day did it again.

Every day she did this.

I'm pretty sure that this is the only thing that pup had to eat.

Now the pup has a home.

A place to be.

Hopefully they'll never have to think,

"Everybody has someone but me."

No complaining about Valentine's Day.

But I do have to go.

The pups are barking.

They need a hug.

So do I.


Monday, January 13, 2014


No news?  Is still good news.

Means that there's still a chance.

There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to make a choice.  They must wash the laundry
Walk around naked.
It's time for me to wash clothes, dishes, and walk the dogs.
It did rain today but I got many things done.
Same needs to be for tomorrow, the next day and all the days until I get my important things done.
Until then?
I hope that all the Gentle Readers have sunshine filled days or at the very least sunshine in your heart.
I'm terrible at waiting.
So it's a good idea to keep busy.
No matter if I get the writing gig or not, I'll have a clean closet and happy dogs.
There will be something to show for my week.
Happy days!

Sunday, January 12, 2014


After a week of rain, rain, cold, frightfully cold, busted pipes cold, warmer with rain?

Today was indeed beautiful.

Tomorrow more rain.

But then I had to clean the kitchen and wash clothes so it's all good.

It is a beautiful day.

A gift.

Now to the business of being blog....

 Blog  stupid...