Friday, February 7, 2014

Ah, I got it... Why a romantic AVOIDS Valentine's Day...

Finally? I get it. All this effort to let me know that no one cares what I think.

Lol. Who does that to a person?  To make me stronger? Ahahahahahaha.

You know there are nice people who I've met.  I don't preach to them about the way they live their life or try to convince them to live my life.


It's more like, "Hey! How you going? Good? Ah that's great to hear."  When I thought that I had to give away my dog? I asked you and your response was, "That's your problem. I don't like the dog."  I showed up and asked one of these nice people for help. They didn't say go own you made your bed so ... (You know the rest.)  Ah no they said can I help?
It's just who they are as people.

But not you.


When I asked you with all my heart to tell  me what was wrong with us and how do we fix it? YOU seemed unhappy, something seemed wrong, and that we needed to work it out.  You let me think that you weren't the kind of person who talked about their feelings.  I bought it. Until last night when you walked in and told me that you'd discussed one of our "problems" with someone else.  You talked to a co worker !  Seriously?What a shocker!!!  I shouldn't have been surprised. This isn't the first time that you've shown up and pretty much said, "It's not me. It's you."

Then you closed the door or turned off the light and shut me out.


I should have listened when I met your father and he said,

"Where's the other girl?" 

No spinach between my teeth.  Height and weight appropriate. When I look at the photos from that year? I looked great. No, I was lovely. What's more I was trying my best to get along with you and your family.  Now you tell me that all these years you won't talk to me but suddenly you can talk to everyone other than me.  Excuse me if I take that badly.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Dear Groundhog,

Maybe in your neck of the woods but not here.





This song makes me cry.  I don't want to but I do.  It reminds me of how simple and yet how strong true love can be.  I used to think that I had that kind of love. Now?  Now I love my son and my pups.

I still think that I will have this but I grow older. When I look at the front gate or when I have waited at the door for my friend to come back, a part of me grows quiet and still.  This place doesn't fill the sadness that I feel.  The notion of home seems so far away.

What this world has tried to steal from me is just wrong.