Thursday, October 24, 2013

Dear Santa,  

I have been exceptionally good this year. I lost some weight.  I ate a salad (or two). I was a good listener to a friend in need. I tried not to ASSume (too much). 

Santa,  I want some boat parts for the boat and about 1000 feet of dog wire for outside. This year I'm going to dispense with the groveling and just come out and say it.

I need a vacation.

I need a really good gynecologist who has absolutely no trouble with prescribing important medical type things.  Estrogen/Progestin are a good thing. Soy milk? Sucks.

I need a good mechanic for my car which while old is really low on miles and still looks fly.

I need my son to knock it off (he know what I mean)

And Santa I need to break this drought known as my sex life.

I am perking up. What's the good of the hormones if you can't do anything about it.

I'm not picky here either.  It's not too much to ask for age appropriate.  I'm liberal on the looks but not on the sense of humor. That part is non negociable.

And one more thing.

I need Craig Ferguson to go back to being the 2005 Craig Ferguson.  This new one looks like he is miserable and might quit.

I think that's about it. Ah one more thing. Remember Sailing Buddy?  He's back and personally I don't care for it one bit.  Can you please get Sailing Buddy a girl friend and a good reason to live across the country in another state?  I'm personally looking forward to Sailing Club without his being anywhere around me. Please?

Get him an acting job AND a girl friend in Bora Bora and I'll be delighted.

Please also get Pup to go to college. It's paid for. He's smart enough. I need his room for an office.

Send photos good looking co eds  and letters of acceptance from the college of his choice before he drives me mad.


Oh and one more thing.  I am tired of being a disinherited slacker person. I'm a writer. It makes me happy.  I need a writing gig.  This domesticity is not fun.

It sucketh.


That's about it Santa.  I'll write again if I can think of anything.  Thanks for not letting the water heater be too much of a pain. I'm relieved because now I KNOW when it's going to break down and if we're going to be able to handle it or not.  It did and we did.

I hear the sound of pitter patter of size12 shoes tapping their way down the stairs. WB was pizzed off last night. I'm not sure if it's a trend.

Better go see.

Happy day,


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