Monday, January 16, 2012

I can to write.

From January 22, 2011 12dotsandablot blog post.


Strong women open their own doors.

They open their own jars and squash their own spiders because no one else will.

Because the world still turns and someone else has to.

They pick up hay bales because they can and they've too much integrity to con a guy into doing it.

Then they wonder why they spend Saturday night watching a rental movie with their dog.


Kind of makes me sad.

Such lovely independent souls with rough hands.

Sightly disheveled and frayed around the edges.

Telling lovely stories about the adventures they've been on.

They live interesting lives and tell interesting stories.

Then they die alone.




I'm sitting here in the middle of all my failures.

They're "screaming" from all points.

The untidy parlor.

The dishes in the sink.

The un made bed called "My Life"?

My husband sits sullen in his chair.

Then it's upstairs in bed with the lights out.

He pretends to be asleep but I know he's not.

Better for us both that I keep up the ruse.

Lest we fight.

My daughter.

Fruit of my loins is somewhere.

She asked for money and I said no.

So she shut her "door" too and went into the night.

Bonnie girl.

I sit here on the couch in the dark and listen to all my failures screaming "You idiot."

It changes from my mothers voice, to my husbands, to my daughters, and then -

Into mine.

I cry.

Because I read in a poem that strong women do.

But in my heart I know.

That while these may be tears of failure,

They are not tears of strength.



c anne ford

all rights reserved by the author.

Okay, before anyone starts in on this. Please read the following.

This is 12dotsandablot.

Like the old 12 dogs and a blog?

It's a writer's journal.

Fact and fiction are written here.

If you don't know which is which?

Don't ASSume.


We're all okay here.

I was just reading the poem A Strong Woman and thinking about what I've seen in the world. I'm not sure that I believe that the world is kind to the strong women. Not to the ones I've known. The world tolerates them begrudgingly but it doesn't seem to open it's arms and say, "Come here Strong Woman. Here's your home."

More like, "We don't trust you strong woman. You don't fit the mold. Work hard for us but don't expect our affection. You're strong. Stand on your feet and work."


I think -

No I'm sure that it's Eve's fault.

And Adams.

Stupid apple.

Stupid Snake.

On second thought stupid Eve.

Whomever? We've been paying for it ever since.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe the cold has me sullen.

I've always been a Optimistic Pessimist.

Will think on it.



Except where noted, all work in this post by the author and poet, c anne ford, 22 January, 2011, all rights reserved by the author.


LOL. I can write. Just have alot of that life stuff happening.


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