Songs of Loneliness and homesickness...

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"Love me, love me, love me" he spat out the words.

He was on the couch trying to find som peace. A nap. I'd gone to ask him a question. I was just trying to connect. It made him angry and he said the words.

There aren't words for that. There are just feelings. So I sucked in my breath and walked away. Stunned.

Even now I can remember it and I feel the loneliness. It would be nice to analyze it. Some how grow to accept it or renounce it. Go to him and ask, "Why? Why did you do that?" Only there aren't word and when I did ask him? He didn't remember.

"What are you talking about?" Then he looks at me as if I'm crazy.

"You need help." he says " I think you're depressed."

He's all messed up and I'm the one who needs help?

I grab deep into my heart and pull out a memory.



"One, two, three, four,..."