Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Read me.



  1. OMW, I am bored.
    No more dramas.
    It's February.
    The month I dread.
    I'm looking for Fred Astaire.
    Not Mr. Goodbar. (Archaic ref)
    Has anyone looked at a man's scrotum?
    LOL They look like Yoda (Geek ref)

    Hang on.

    I have an idea. Camera work. Cut and paste. Photography?


  2. .

    It returns to my well ordered life.
    For three hundred, sixty-four days?
    Even my chaos has order.
    But not in February.
    Unlike the other days?
    This day is a reminder of what cannot controlled with hard work.

    I must have been bitten by some tick of a boy.
    At that young and impresionable age where you still believe.
    His tongue in my mouth.
    His saliva.
    I've got love's lyme disease from that tick.


  3. Welcome to my Valentine's Day hurricane hole. Every year for quite a while, I construct a virtual place to hide from pink crepe paper hearts. If I'm smart, I buy those pieces of chocolate made to look like lumps of coal. The ones you see at Christmas. I arrange them in a heart shaped box that's lined with black satin.
    On the 14th, I eat those chocolate "lumps of coal" one by one. Every 4th one punctuated with a shot of tequilla. I'm normally everyone's designated driver but not on the 14th.

  4. .

    It comes round again.
    The day.
    I shutter the doors.
    Turn off the lights.
    No phone calls for me.

    The television light flickers black and while.
    The Philadelphia Story.
    There's love.
    The Run Away Bride where Richard Gere says, "That's not what you want."
    He's talking to the woman he'd hoped to pilary.
    Instead he's waking up.


  5. Well here's good news.

    This year I'm getting flowers in February. The Japanese Magnolia is blooming. I really do like them. It's a slow process, but they grow to be quite tall. If you're lucky some of them have the best smell. They bloom first on bare limbs like the cherry trees and they are splendid.


    I't Narcissis and Japanese Magnolias in February.
    Azaleas in March.
    Dogwoods and Hyacinths in April.
    Shasta Daisy and Red Clover by May.
    June, green with hay and French Blue Hydrangeas (my favorite.)
    July and August Zinnias and Mexican Heather.
    By September the Swamp Flowers.
    By October Astors and Mums.
    November sees Fall's color.
    December? Forced bulbs and Poinsetteas.
    January? Green Holly in the snow.

    Then back to February. The month that florists will swear is full of roses?

    I see Forcythia stems in a sunny window.
    Bare now but soon to bloom.
    Crocus and Grape Hyacinth bulbs in a terracotta pot waiting for Easter.
    Trees now with leaves gone but more interesting than in the summer.
    And Japanese Magnolias standing hard against the chill of February.

    This post isn't really for the rest of the world to read. I just was outside and it's started raining again. Grey skies and bare tree limbs.
    And that Japanese Magnolia that says, "Don't give up. Even in the middle of Winter there is still the tenacity of Spring."


  6. .

    Do I sit quietly and wait for someone to ask me to dance?
    I've never really been that kind of person.
    If I'd been like that I'd never traveled anywhere.
    Never seen the canals of Venice or the Vatican.
    Never seen the Alps or the heather.
    Never seen the insides of a sailboat.
    Nor heard the sounds of the Adriatic Sea in the dark.
    Why is it that for 364 days "seven league" steps are good but on one day in February I'm supposed to sit and wait?

    I'm not waiting this year.
    This year is Leap Year.
    This year is Sadie Hawkins Day.
    This year I can be bold.
    This year...


    I'm still sitting.
    Legs crossed.
    Sitting in that row of chairs against the wall where good girls sit with legs crossed, waiting for someone.
    I have flowers on my wrist.
    A blue dress, with socks, and shiney black Mary Jane shoes.
    Every year I wait.
    There's a construction paper heart in my lap.
    It's got white doiley lace and there's gold glitter words, "Be Mine."

    Every year I sit and wait.


  7. .

    (I'm very serious in this comment.)

    I just don't get it. I don't get any of it. When I was eleven, I thought that to get a boyfriend you had to be their friend. I remember having such a crush on this fella.
    I was his friend.
    We talked about everything.
    Then one day he handed me a Valentines.
    My heart leaped in my throat, "This is it!!!"
    Then I looked at the front of the card.
    It wasn't my name.
    "You are my very best friend," he said. "I'm too scared to give this to her. Would you?"
    That year I got one Valentine's Day card from my mom and 36 manditory ones from my class mates.
    But none from my friend.


  8. .
    I did get flowers one year from someone who, if I'd not been such a klutz at all this, I would have risked the humiliation and just said it, "I love you."

    We'd had a fight. He was my friend but he was complicating things at a time where I was just pulled everywhere. I remember yelling at him, "You want to know me??? Are you kidding?"

    He told me that he did indeed want to know me.
    Then he sent me roses.
    One dozen multi colored roses.
    I still have the card.

    It's the only time in my life that someone sent flowers in the way that, I'd always thought flowers oould be sent on Valentine's Day. I'd never known such a romantic thing. Not before or since. I get flowere. Dutiful flowers. But never like those flowers. I should have told my parrents to "fuck off", walked back up that plane ramp, and just taken a chance.

    He wasn't the one who got away. He was the one I drove off because of obligations.

    Not a good idea.

    Now? I'm older. Who would want me?


  9. .

    Oh God. Now the other stuff starts. The articles for those who aren't in anykind of relationship.

    The helpful suggestions.

    I really hate this part.

    "...Finding yourself alone on Valentine's Day? Why not ask another friend out to dinner. Be bold. Both of you get all gussied up and go out on the town. Giggle and have fun..."

    For the record, I'm an expert at generating my own fun. "If I had a nickel...." I don't mind doing things alone or with a friend. It's not easy to explain but this is the tender part. Of course I could buy myself flowers. I love flowers. It's - well it's not just me.
    I used to have a singing telegram business. I was very good at what I did. People would be so happy. The secret to my success? I know that deep down inside everyone likes to be noticed.


    Takes two people.

    So when I read those words about being bold?
    I just cringe.
    It's like the answer to the question, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"



  10. Message in a bottle.

    "May I borrow a spoonful of your love?"


  11. That last comment is pathetic.

    I'm better than this.

    Besides it's only supposed to be ONE day out of the year not the entire month.

    Plan for it.
    Rage against it.
    Rise above it.

    And who the heck is reading what I write in Russia and why?

    Who are you?


  12. Sorry for the last comment. Welcome to the person or persons from Russia who are reading my blog. Thanks.


  13. Happy news. More people are reading my blog.


    Happy reading!



  14. .

    He's got an Orange Fanta smile.
    Koolaide orange not round, from the tree orange.
    White tshirt. Blue jeans. Red hair.
    There's Beatles music in the background.
    We're at the park.
    Green grass. Silver swings. Blue sky.
    He's showing me one of those fuzzy caterpeller things.
    I lean close just a sunlight is on his face.
    His eyes.
    I lean closer so that my mouth is almost touching his ear.
    It might not have been a kiss but when you're twelve?
    It's enough.



  15. The Mating Habits of HIpsters.

    by C Anne Ford, February 1, 2012

    all rights reserved by the author.

  16. .

    "I'm more grown up than my mother."

    "I'm more sexy than my dog but not my cat."

    "I'm more proud of my wii than my degree. At least I can do something with my Wii."


  17. Enough rant.

    Let's try something romance novel?







    Can you name the spots on your body, that when touched, cause you to smile? Suck in a breath?

    Does and ice cube down your spine make you shiver with lust or with anger?

    Could you lie in bed naked while someone mesages your feet, then slowly moves to your ankles, the backs of your knees, your thighs and beyond?

    Could you lay quiet? Or would you giggle?

    Would you sit silent with another person deep in your own thoughts? Would you turn to them and would they complete your thought?

    Could you really promise to spend the rest of your life with another human being? Really?

    Do you treat your body like a temple or do you drink Orange Fanta like it's water?

    Do you take baths or showers?


    " I was watching your face and it scared me the look of sheer panic that I saw there."

    I don't see the joy there. Why do you still do what you do? Why? What's the point?

    LOL Okay

    This is 12dotsandablot.
    A fiction writer's journal.
    Fact and fiction co exist here.
    If you don't know which is which?
    Do not ASSume.

    I truly miss Newt.


  18. That last past, "I truly miss Newt."?

    That's the true.

    She's long gone but that doesn't mean that every once in a while I miss hearing from her.


  19. Sigh. I 've just hit a point where I don't care if someone likes or doesn't lke me as much as I care about the wasted time getting to the point that they didn't care.

    Such a colosal waste of time.

  20. I wonder.

    Should I try being a lesbian?

    This heterosexual stuff isn't working out.

    I have tried to turn myself in circles, pinched my cheeks for color, and even have preened.

    It's not working and I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I'm too young.

    I got it. When I was younger? I got the fact that guys weren't interested in me. I didn't like the games. I'd here that you had to "catch" a guy and I said,, "Isn't that dishonest?"

    Maybe if I'm a lesbian, I'll have a better chance of meeting a funny, honest, and outgoing mate.

    I love to travel. I love music. This fencing is fun.

    If I don't do something, I'm worried that I'll become a relationship hermit.

    One thing I do know is that I'm going to have to start traveling again. I miss seeing the world. Enough with the introspection.



  21. If you can't find me here? You'll have to look to Twitter. Since I don't Tweet much at the moment? You'll have to Twitter to me to get me to go there.


  22. Note. I don't Tweet much anymore. Probably won't blog much either.

    If you need to find me? Best to Tweet on the Twitter.

    February is almost over. ...


  23. Hip hip hip.

    Survived February AND March AND most of April...



  24. PS There is someone reading my blog from Russia.

    Who are you?
    Are you the KBG?
    Are you terribly bored?

    Are you nuts?

    Why are you reading this blog?

    Can't be for the political analysis.

    LOl I haven't done that in ages.

    Can't be the Interactive Blog Stories.


    See above.

    Look if you're going to read this blog how about posting?