Was rummaging through the old 12dogs archives looking for a poem when I found something that I'd written back in 2008. Thought I might bring it out into the light of day and maybe buff it up a bit.
Work in Progress
I feel as if I’m in the dark with my eyes wide open but I can not see
It’s not a frightening dark
It’s a soft, liquid, slightly out of focus dark
As I move through your mind
Everything is soft
Like down pillows and down comforters
Like feathers falling from the sky
Like a whisper of a wisp
When I stumble and I fall?
I fall into clouds
Wisps of clouds like dust swirl up around me as I fall into the emotion
That’s how this afternoon felt
Sad…because a friend was leaving
A smile — because another friend had stayed
The day soft
I wrote the sorrow away from my heart
The emotions coraled into a box of words
Put back into Pandora’s Box
Only this time Hope
Outside the box
As I move through the soft in slow motion
Soft word on the lips
My mind’s eye comforted
Writing in slow motion
My heart sings
Please don’t be angry with me
I have to write
21 October,2008 all rights reserved by the author
Yep, yep. I remember the feeling. Now, when I read it, I'm thinking it's too long. Werdy. The idea was to convey my impression of a person.
Might break it into smaller pieces. Reconstitute into a group of poems instead of just one.
"Standing" here on it's own, this piece needs to be reworked.