"Who hoo. I'm just a love machine...."

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Dear Newt,

I'm not sure where you are anymore. The last I heard, you'd parted ways with the person you'd finally trusted your heart to. I'm sorry that I couldn't give you the advice that you needed. In my heart of hearts, I'm hoping that Fate and God will see to it that you find me here.

This post is for you.


Hugs from all of us,

Writing Buddy.


For Newt.


You know Newt, sometimes you just have to suck it up like a Hoover.

Otherwise, you'll lose that girl.









(Oh boy, am I in trouble.)




A list of consideration for those people who'd like to make it to anniversary 2.


Dating experts outline seven match areas to consider:

1. Physical appearance

While physical appearance and attraction draw two people together at first, these aspects will affect the rest of their lives. If working out and staying fit is important to you, will it bum you out if your mate doesn’t share your quest for rock-hard abs?

2. Emotional maturity
Is this person emotionally mature and centered or still lugging around some trunk-sized baggage? How does your sweetheart relate to family and friends? Is he or she emotionally supportive or have control issues? Is your mate aware of his or her own issues and interested in addressing them?

3. Lifestyle choices
This includes career and social lives, common interests, leisure time activities and energy levels. Would she rather join the bowling league or the metropolitan symphony? Does he have lots of energy for activities with friends while she’d rather rest and chill out at home?

4. Financial compatibility
This is a hot bed for most couples. It includes income levels, savings goals and views on handling money. How do you each want to spend, save and invest? Is one person a spender while the other saves? Is one person financially responsible while the other plays catch-up with child support and bills?

5. Value structure
This area is often overlooked but has a tremendous impact on your life. It includes the big values: honesty, integrity, loyalty, views on family and children, religion and spirituality, life goals and the treatment and care for others. Does your mate follow through on promises made? Would you say this person is trustworthy? Will you always be there for each other in a pinch?

6. Marriage and intimacy
Everyone does not share the same idea of marriage. The big questions to address are: What do you and your mate expect from marriage? Is he or she looking for a soul mate? Do you both want close intimacy beyond the physical aspect, including with your friendships and in private communications with each other?

7. Intelligence
Having similar education levels increases your chances of sharing matching school and social experiences, intellectual interests and career goals. What topics do you and your honey like to talk about? Conversation limited to sports or shopping may get boring to someone who likes to ponder philosophy and bluster about business.

While you don’t have to match exactly in each area, look at the big picture and make sure you match closely enough in the important areas of your life to up your chances of finding a love that will go the distance.

Dee Anne Merriman is a freelance writer who often covers relationship issues.



Now I read these 7 characteristics and thought, "How in heck have I managed to actually make it to anniversary 26." I'm not sure that either of us would pass this test.

Then I smacked my forehead with my hand and thought,

"Ah ha. They left out the most important rule."


Rule number 8.

If your intention is to have a marriage that lasts a long time?

You have to recognize that you will both pizz each other off. You will both be wrong at sometime or the other. You will both change. Sometimes slowly. Sometimes in a second. Crap happens and sometime you just have to suck it up and say, "Yes, dear. You are right. I was wrong."

Even if you might think in your heart of hearts that this isn't exactly correct.

Because frankly both parties more than likely will be wrong.

Alot.

Kindness (and the realization that if you don't you'll lose this person) will get the words "I'm sorry. I was wrong." out of your mouth before you blow it.

Honesty is good but affection and sympathy are better.

And laughter. It's what gets you through child rearing and midlife and menopause and "boner" pills and ...

You get the idea.

If I could describe it? It would be hugging that person in the middle of an unexpected storm. They aren't the enemy and if you've been with them long enough you'll know that and stay.









And Fate? If you'd see to it that Pup reads this too?

I'd really appreaciate it.

WriterAnn

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