.
Welcome to 12 dots and a blot
A writer's journal.
Fact and fiction co-exist here.
If you don't know which is which?
Don't ASSume.
Ask
Now then what the heck?
I was in line at the grocery store and there were three different "magazines" with three different headlines about Prince William. Now normally, I don't really care about what's happening in Prince Williams life because- well- I don't know him so it's not really my business but in the interest of journalistic integrity?
Are they married or not?
Inquiring minds want to know.
.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
When the people doing it stop giving a dam...
.
(very rough draft subject to edit)
Late night on Saturday is the best movie time ever.
(or when does a parody of a parody "go south"?)
What is the difference between Buccaroo Bonzi and Rocky Horror Picture Show?
What makes one Youtube funny and the other just stupid?
And why was Obama Girl such a power for good (or evil depending on how you vote?
------------------
I'm worried.
Every once in a while we talk about the difference between Buccaroo Bonzi and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. One was (and, I guess still is) a cult classic and the other wanted to be one.
I'm still worried.
There is a moment when you break through a sort of wall. Believe it or not we've all probably felt it. That moment when a disaster happens and we're dripping in dog poop. You could loose it and go insame or - ? You can let loose. Start laughing and making fun of it. Parody. Then you laugh some more. It might look like a person stops caring and I guess they do in a way. Only in this case you retain your humanity. You can look at yourself and laugh.
"I can't afford to have an ego."
I told that to someone a year ago last June. I'd just jumped in the water and infront of complete strangers who were incredibly fit just acted a fool. On the one hand, it was kind of like my job. Afterwards, I had to go for a walk/slash run to work off the humiliation of it. If it weren't for the payoff (sailing) I'd have never gone back. It's not easy being "cheesy" 365 days out of the year. In order to do good parody you have to take what you're doing seriously. You break through the wall of selfconsciousness. LOL I know it's sounds cliche but you really do seriously have to "be" the tree or the prat fall. If you're showing the humor in the human condition and want people to laugh at the situation and at themselves? You have to "be" them and love them for it. That way they can love themselves. Parody.
"I love you crazy kid walking around with the shoes on the wrong feet but proud because you did it yourself." Later you laugh about it. Not to make fun but because to laugh at yourself when you goof up is one of those skills you need to survive life on Earth. I used to do something for a lifing that I really didn't like at all. It was responsible, well paying, and hard to do. If I still did it I would be respected in the community and pretty well off. I was worried when I quit, that I would regret the decission. I didn't. Time off didn't change my dread of going back to work. It just reminded me that I wasn't in a situation that let me laugh.
That's why I'm worried. It's one thing to parody unhappy behavior, it's another thing when the dread of a situation makes you stop laughing. Things change. You can roll with it. Look at the situation and change it so that the laughing comes back. But if you can't use this as a catalyst to change? Maybe it's better that you do something else. I did. It's not been easy but it was definately for the best.
And I did find my happy.
I would miss TV's Craig Ferguson's show. It's one of the places where I found my laugh again but I'm told that it's no fun to watch someone who truly doesn't like their situation. So I'm hoping that if they can't innovate here? He'll do what he apparently always has done.
Open the door and find something new to do.
Cause folks it ain't easy being "cheesy".
.....
I'm an writer. It's in my "contract" that I might at some point write about falling on my ass or being covered in baby vomit. Now to some there's little or no humor in it but the reality is that situation can be the very essence of humor and being human. To laugh at the world and ourselves, to see the humor in the darkest of times, and to rise above it or sit there in the middle of it and laugh is the well spring of empathy. My dogs can't do that. As smart as they are they can't or won't sympathise with another dog who's had the same trouble in the pack as they have. We can because we can see the humor in this loco life.
.
(very rough draft subject to edit)
Late night on Saturday is the best movie time ever.
(or when does a parody of a parody "go south"?)
What is the difference between Buccaroo Bonzi and Rocky Horror Picture Show?
What makes one Youtube funny and the other just stupid?
And why was Obama Girl such a power for good (or evil depending on how you vote?
------------------
I'm worried.
Every once in a while we talk about the difference between Buccaroo Bonzi and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. One was (and, I guess still is) a cult classic and the other wanted to be one.
I'm still worried.
There is a moment when you break through a sort of wall. Believe it or not we've all probably felt it. That moment when a disaster happens and we're dripping in dog poop. You could loose it and go insame or - ? You can let loose. Start laughing and making fun of it. Parody. Then you laugh some more. It might look like a person stops caring and I guess they do in a way. Only in this case you retain your humanity. You can look at yourself and laugh.
"I can't afford to have an ego."
I told that to someone a year ago last June. I'd just jumped in the water and infront of complete strangers who were incredibly fit just acted a fool. On the one hand, it was kind of like my job. Afterwards, I had to go for a walk/slash run to work off the humiliation of it. If it weren't for the payoff (sailing) I'd have never gone back. It's not easy being "cheesy" 365 days out of the year. In order to do good parody you have to take what you're doing seriously. You break through the wall of selfconsciousness. LOL I know it's sounds cliche but you really do seriously have to "be" the tree or the prat fall. If you're showing the humor in the human condition and want people to laugh at the situation and at themselves? You have to "be" them and love them for it. That way they can love themselves. Parody.
"I love you crazy kid walking around with the shoes on the wrong feet but proud because you did it yourself." Later you laugh about it. Not to make fun but because to laugh at yourself when you goof up is one of those skills you need to survive life on Earth. I used to do something for a lifing that I really didn't like at all. It was responsible, well paying, and hard to do. If I still did it I would be respected in the community and pretty well off. I was worried when I quit, that I would regret the decission. I didn't. Time off didn't change my dread of going back to work. It just reminded me that I wasn't in a situation that let me laugh.
That's why I'm worried. It's one thing to parody unhappy behavior, it's another thing when the dread of a situation makes you stop laughing. Things change. You can roll with it. Look at the situation and change it so that the laughing comes back. But if you can't use this as a catalyst to change? Maybe it's better that you do something else. I did. It's not been easy but it was definately for the best.
And I did find my happy.
I would miss TV's Craig Ferguson's show. It's one of the places where I found my laugh again but I'm told that it's no fun to watch someone who truly doesn't like their situation. So I'm hoping that if they can't innovate here? He'll do what he apparently always has done.
Open the door and find something new to do.
Cause folks it ain't easy being "cheesy".
.....
I'm an writer. It's in my "contract" that I might at some point write about falling on my ass or being covered in baby vomit. Now to some there's little or no humor in it but the reality is that situation can be the very essence of humor and being human. To laugh at the world and ourselves, to see the humor in the darkest of times, and to rise above it or sit there in the middle of it and laugh is the well spring of empathy. My dogs can't do that. As smart as they are they can't or won't sympathise with another dog who's had the same trouble in the pack as they have. We can because we can see the humor in this loco life.
.
Why I'm glad that the summer vaca is over...
.
It's hot.
(it has been hot)
I can (finally) chew things. Yay.
(I'm gonna get the biggest steak-
Eat it on Labor Day.)
The LLS is back on the air.
This is good because - well- the world is strange.
Things missed?
Korea gets Facebook and twitter account
Vampires Suck (the movie is on)
Then there was the thing with the (almost) Miss Universe
Welcome back, Mr. Ferguson.
So what's your first Tweet to the Koreans? eh?
Note
I've been chatting on @RSA_New live chat. http://rsanews.com/news/ I'm pretty sure that you don't have to have a Twitter account to chat AND there is still time to chat now. Great place to go to find info on the show.
It's hot.
(it has been hot)
I can (finally) chew things. Yay.
(I'm gonna get the biggest steak-
Eat it on Labor Day.)
The LLS is back on the air.
This is good because - well- the world is strange.
Things missed?
Korea gets Facebook and twitter account
Vampires Suck (the movie is on)
Then there was the thing with the (almost) Miss Universe
Welcome back, Mr. Ferguson.
So what's your first Tweet to the Koreans? eh?
Note
I've been chatting on @RSA_New live chat. http://rsanews.com/news/ I'm pretty sure that you don't have to have a Twitter account to chat AND there is still time to chat now. Great place to go to find info on the show.
One quiet night in August...
.
...or was it March? I can't remember. You could only hear bits of the melody coming through the woods. Same time every evening. Quiet. The sound of trucks on the highway. Then...
Bagpipes.
I started the truck that last evening. Determined to find out where it was coming from. All those bits and pieces of music floating.
So there I went. Slowly driving down the road, window open, and listening for the sound.
...
On the old blog I wrote about the time that the rainbow ended at the base of our pecan tree. It was late afternoon then as well. Everything was green from the rain and the heat. All the way home we watched as the rainbow shifted. Just out of reach. Then when we came to the house it stopped there at the bottom of our pecan tree.
We found gold there. A nest full of eggs. The shined gold in the afternoon sun.
...
I found the source of the bagpipes. The son of a neighbor who was learning to play. Each evening, after work, he'd go out in the back yard and play to the chickens in the yard.
Yeah, it's a goofy story. Boring to most folks. These people. The stories in this post came to mean alot to me. How often do you get to see the gold at the end of a rainbow? Or hear the magic of music coming through the trees from some leprechan's dance? There was real magic.
I am sorry not to be cynical this morning. It's just that for some reason I'm happy. When you've spent time not so happy, those happy moments are a treasure.
Like dancing in the kitchen barefoot. Moonlight coming through the bay window. Laughing but not too loud. So you don't wake anyone.
The harder you try not to make a sound the more you laugh. Until you just stop caring and start laughing out loud.
LOL
Nite. Got to get some sleep.
.
...or was it March? I can't remember. You could only hear bits of the melody coming through the woods. Same time every evening. Quiet. The sound of trucks on the highway. Then...
Bagpipes.
I started the truck that last evening. Determined to find out where it was coming from. All those bits and pieces of music floating.
So there I went. Slowly driving down the road, window open, and listening for the sound.
...
On the old blog I wrote about the time that the rainbow ended at the base of our pecan tree. It was late afternoon then as well. Everything was green from the rain and the heat. All the way home we watched as the rainbow shifted. Just out of reach. Then when we came to the house it stopped there at the bottom of our pecan tree.
We found gold there. A nest full of eggs. The shined gold in the afternoon sun.
...
I found the source of the bagpipes. The son of a neighbor who was learning to play. Each evening, after work, he'd go out in the back yard and play to the chickens in the yard.
Yeah, it's a goofy story. Boring to most folks. These people. The stories in this post came to mean alot to me. How often do you get to see the gold at the end of a rainbow? Or hear the magic of music coming through the trees from some leprechan's dance? There was real magic.
I am sorry not to be cynical this morning. It's just that for some reason I'm happy. When you've spent time not so happy, those happy moments are a treasure.
Like dancing in the kitchen barefoot. Moonlight coming through the bay window. Laughing but not too loud. So you don't wake anyone.
The harder you try not to make a sound the more you laugh. Until you just stop caring and start laughing out loud.
LOL
Nite. Got to get some sleep.
.
Psst, It's the last day of August 2010.
.
Yay.
The house is quiet except for Izzy who's snoring.
To celebrate surving August, a very hot month, a song:
Van Morrison.
Listen quick before they take it off Youtube.
I do not profit from this song in anyway. I'm just a Van Morrison fan and this song makes me "...wonderful happy..."
"When that fog horns blow, I have to hear it..."
Next?
Dunno.
I may be back tonight or not for a while. Not sure. There's things to do here and for some reason, for the first time in years, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Happy.
Which has to to be a good thing? Right?
.
More Van Morrison
Brown eyed Girl
They'll Be Days Like This
Once in a Blue Moon
Yay.
The house is quiet except for Izzy who's snoring.
To celebrate surving August, a very hot month, a song:
Van Morrison.
Listen quick before they take it off Youtube.
I do not profit from this song in anyway. I'm just a Van Morrison fan and this song makes me "...wonderful happy..."
"When that fog horns blow, I have to hear it..."
Next?
Dunno.
I may be back tonight or not for a while. Not sure. There's things to do here and for some reason, for the first time in years, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Happy.
Which has to to be a good thing? Right?
.
More Van Morrison
Brown eyed Girl
They'll Be Days Like This
Once in a Blue Moon
Now what?
.
Oh no, I am not going to lecture anyone today about their life choices. Yes - I - do know that the song is a lecture on appreciating what you have. It's not there to lecture. It's more a gentle nudge.
I'm liking planting things. There's something nice about watching a plant grow. And these are culinary herbs so they not only look nice but they're also useful. The aloe isn't doing so good. Went by one of the local nurseries to get advice on what I could do. "Too much water? Maybe? Or not enough sun? Perhaps..." I dunno. The person who gave the advice is nice and I'm going to try her suggestions. The Basil that I thought was going to die has leafed out.
You might be wondering what this has to do with the song?
I've been through some times and have made decissions for alot of reasons. Some of those reasons have been competitive. I wasn't going to give in. It's good to be determined. To hold tight to your possition on matters of this life. So I'm not going to lecture or advice anyone to give up what's important to them.
Weren't expecting that was ya'.
Hugs and because it does need to be said outloud and without missunderstanding,
"You are welcome here. Just mind you don't sit on the cat."
Ann
PS. As mentioned, I had a tooth misshap without any sympathy. Actually my tooth fell out. The entire thing. I've never seen anything quite like this but I will say that it stopped hurting as soon as it fell out. I'm grateful. Anyway I put it in milk and kept it in a bag to see if I needed it but so far I'm okay without.
This isn't exactly the way I thought my life would go though. Planting plants and watching for my tooth the fall out is different.
LOL, would someone cue up the Gloria Gaynor?
.
.
Oh no, I am not going to lecture anyone today about their life choices. Yes - I - do know that the song is a lecture on appreciating what you have. It's not there to lecture. It's more a gentle nudge.
I'm liking planting things. There's something nice about watching a plant grow. And these are culinary herbs so they not only look nice but they're also useful. The aloe isn't doing so good. Went by one of the local nurseries to get advice on what I could do. "Too much water? Maybe? Or not enough sun? Perhaps..." I dunno. The person who gave the advice is nice and I'm going to try her suggestions. The Basil that I thought was going to die has leafed out.
You might be wondering what this has to do with the song?
I've been through some times and have made decissions for alot of reasons. Some of those reasons have been competitive. I wasn't going to give in. It's good to be determined. To hold tight to your possition on matters of this life. So I'm not going to lecture or advice anyone to give up what's important to them.
Weren't expecting that was ya'.
Hugs and because it does need to be said outloud and without missunderstanding,
"You are welcome here. Just mind you don't sit on the cat."
Ann
PS. As mentioned, I had a tooth misshap without any sympathy. Actually my tooth fell out. The entire thing. I've never seen anything quite like this but I will say that it stopped hurting as soon as it fell out. I'm grateful. Anyway I put it in milk and kept it in a bag to see if I needed it but so far I'm okay without.
This isn't exactly the way I thought my life would go though. Planting plants and watching for my tooth the fall out is different.
LOL, would someone cue up the Gloria Gaynor?
.
.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Dear Diary,
.
Today my tooth broke.
When I asked for sympathy and a hug? WB's reaction was, "Buck up. Get tough. Be a man."
LOL, I'm tough. I'm a female.
(which makes that "...Be a man." part a bit tricky.)
There is good news. While I was waiting up last night to see if I was going to have an allergic reaction to the ant that I may have eatten due to it being in the chips bag? It occured that if the tooth did break, the filling might be gold. According to the comercial, all I have to do is send the filling part to the Gold Exchange and "Cha-ching" - I hit pay dirt.
Now all I have to do is find the hammer.
.
Happy weekend.
BBL
Ann.
PS The video? Teeth.
.
Today my tooth broke.
When I asked for sympathy and a hug? WB's reaction was, "Buck up. Get tough. Be a man."
LOL, I'm tough. I'm a female.
(which makes that "...Be a man." part a bit tricky.)
There is good news. While I was waiting up last night to see if I was going to have an allergic reaction to the ant that I may have eatten due to it being in the chips bag? It occured that if the tooth did break, the filling might be gold. According to the comercial, all I have to do is send the filling part to the Gold Exchange and "Cha-ching" - I hit pay dirt.
Now all I have to do is find the hammer.
.
Happy weekend.
BBL
Ann.
PS The video? Teeth.
.
On the other hand?
.
Well it's the next day and I'm not swelled up.
That's the good news.
ON the other hand?
My tooth broke.
When I asked for alittle sympathy? All I got was, "Buck up, Bozo. Life's tough."
.
Well it's the next day and I'm not swelled up.
That's the good news.
ON the other hand?
My tooth broke.
When I asked for alittle sympathy? All I got was, "Buck up, Bozo. Life's tough."
.
Hurray! I'm not going to die from an allergic insect bite!!!
.
I'm going to live!!!
No thanks to you Gentle Reader or to the people in my household. They're all snoring. No, I owe my survival to the Internet, infomercials and really bad re runs of Highway Patrol.
And Paul McCartney karoke.
You know, I'd really love to have a Wanda Bar right about now.
Like on Wanda Sykes' show.
I really would love to have a Wanda Bar.
(No that's not one of those double entand- auntandr -- one of those things that's supposed to have a double meaning...)
Where else can you have a serious disscussion about Stripper Olympics... I may not drink but watching other folks get loopy and talk about pole dancing?
It's good.
It's been 20 minutes and I haven't swelled up from ant bites.
Lord help me please not to dream about those ants dressed up like WHAM singing,
"Wake me up before you go-g0..."
Nite!
.
.
:
I'm going to live!!!
No thanks to you Gentle Reader or to the people in my household. They're all snoring. No, I owe my survival to the Internet, infomercials and really bad re runs of Highway Patrol.
And Paul McCartney karoke.
You know, I'd really love to have a Wanda Bar right about now.
Like on Wanda Sykes' show.
I really would love to have a Wanda Bar.
(No that's not one of those double entand- auntandr -- one of those things that's supposed to have a double meaning...)
Where else can you have a serious disscussion about Stripper Olympics... I may not drink but watching other folks get loopy and talk about pole dancing?
It's good.
It's been 20 minutes and I haven't swelled up from ant bites.
Lord help me please not to dream about those ants dressed up like WHAM singing,
"Wake me up before you go-g0..."
Nite!
.
.
:
Being John Malcontent
.
You can't make folks laugh all the time.
I know that there are people who make a living at making folks laugh but lets be real. They usually have a staff of writers who's entire job it is to write words to make folks laugh.
Even they have off days.
In the event that you want to make someone happy but nothing is working.
There's always sex.
Sex and Barry White.
Sex and Barry White and the Beatles...
It's usually good for a laugh here at Casa 12 dots.
Well that and a the notion of a Wanda Bar.
.
You can't make folks laugh all the time.
I know that there are people who make a living at making folks laugh but lets be real. They usually have a staff of writers who's entire job it is to write words to make folks laugh.
Even they have off days.
In the event that you want to make someone happy but nothing is working.
There's always sex.
Sex and Barry White.
Sex and Barry White and the Beatles...
It's usually good for a laugh here at Casa 12 dots.
Well that and a the notion of a Wanda Bar.
.
Do they talk about this on WebMD???
.
I think I just ate ants.
No, I'm not drunk.
Remember how I wrote that I munched on stuff when I was pre occupied and otherwise distracted? I woke up looking for crunch and there was this open bag of Sunchips on the counter and well-- I got a handful out of the bag. (Yeah. Like you've never) So I was crunching and felt this tickling feeling on my hand. Looked down and yikes -- ants. On my hand. So I looked inside the bag and
AAAAANNNNNNTTTTTSSSSS
Not lots and lots but there were one or two.
I'm not sure what happens if you eat an ant. I've been drinking milk and eatting bagels hoping that if there are any ants in my digestive tract they'll be washed away by the milk. To make me feel better someone just told me that we've all probably eatten a spider in our sleep. Then they told me (honest to Got) that if I ate healthy, got enough rest, and was careful any bites an ant bit on the way down should heal in no time. "Oh and that's why I turn on the kitchen lights when I eat." he tells me.
I'm really worried here. These ants that live around here are tough. I've seen them grab on and bite and bite and bite. What if it's tougher than my stomach acid. What if it's been grabbing hold of my esophogus with it's tough little ant feet. I feel something in my throat. What if it's that lone renegade ninja ant. Biting it's way out of my digestive track. Rambo of ants. That's if I'm lucky. I've got hemmoroids. I don't need any more irritations down there.
Anyway here I sit in the dark. Waiting to see if I have any kind of allergic reaction. There's no way I'm calling the emergency room or the 24 hour doctor about this. I'd rather sit here drinking Benadryl and wait it out than tell a receptionist, nurse, and then a doctor, "Well -- I woke up with a case of the munchies and there was this open bag of SunChips -- "
I'm not looking forward to going back to sleep. I'm worried that I'll start dreaming about ants dressed in white tshirts singing --
.
I think I just ate ants.
No, I'm not drunk.
Remember how I wrote that I munched on stuff when I was pre occupied and otherwise distracted? I woke up looking for crunch and there was this open bag of Sunchips on the counter and well-- I got a handful out of the bag. (Yeah. Like you've never) So I was crunching and felt this tickling feeling on my hand. Looked down and yikes -- ants. On my hand. So I looked inside the bag and
AAAAANNNNNNTTTTTSSSSS
Not lots and lots but there were one or two.
I'm not sure what happens if you eat an ant. I've been drinking milk and eatting bagels hoping that if there are any ants in my digestive tract they'll be washed away by the milk. To make me feel better someone just told me that we've all probably eatten a spider in our sleep. Then they told me (honest to Got) that if I ate healthy, got enough rest, and was careful any bites an ant bit on the way down should heal in no time. "Oh and that's why I turn on the kitchen lights when I eat." he tells me.
I'm really worried here. These ants that live around here are tough. I've seen them grab on and bite and bite and bite. What if it's tougher than my stomach acid. What if it's been grabbing hold of my esophogus with it's tough little ant feet. I feel something in my throat. What if it's that lone renegade ninja ant. Biting it's way out of my digestive track. Rambo of ants. That's if I'm lucky. I've got hemmoroids. I don't need any more irritations down there.
Anyway here I sit in the dark. Waiting to see if I have any kind of allergic reaction. There's no way I'm calling the emergency room or the 24 hour doctor about this. I'd rather sit here drinking Benadryl and wait it out than tell a receptionist, nurse, and then a doctor, "Well -- I woke up with a case of the munchies and there was this open bag of SunChips -- "
I'm not looking forward to going back to sleep. I'm worried that I'll start dreaming about ants dressed in white tshirts singing --
.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Mom knows best?
.
I've been thinking about Christmas this summer. It's been hot so the idea of anything cold is good. A diversion. This year is different. For the first time in years, I'm really looking forward to the holidays.
LOL
.
.
I've been thinking about Christmas this summer. It's been hot so the idea of anything cold is good. A diversion. This year is different. For the first time in years, I'm really looking forward to the holidays.
LOL
.
.
Sorry Sigmund. It's not all about the sex...
.
Last night I had a dream about my parents.
My mom comes down the hall to the conference room at work. There's nothing abnormal about it only she doesn't look anything like my mom.
"I -- your dad and I -- want to pay for a hotel room for you -- for Christmas. A present." It's sureal but then it's a dream so it's supposed to be. "Were going to be at your brothers and you know how you annoy him so we just thought that you'd be more comfortable at a hotel -- somewhere other than around your brother."
I'm looking at my dad. Magically he's sitting in a La-Z-Boy watching Fox News. There's a guy in a clown suit yelling. My dad's talking to his stock broker on the cell and saying that the clown on the tv yelling says to "Sell. Buy. Sell." So he's telling the stock broker to sell.
"We just think it's for the best." my mom is saying. She's watching my dad too.
That's when I woke up.
Mele Kalikimaka, imaginary not my mom. I know a great place in the BVI.
:D
.
.
Last night I had a dream about my parents.
My mom comes down the hall to the conference room at work. There's nothing abnormal about it only she doesn't look anything like my mom.
"I -- your dad and I -- want to pay for a hotel room for you -- for Christmas. A present." It's sureal but then it's a dream so it's supposed to be. "Were going to be at your brothers and you know how you annoy him so we just thought that you'd be more comfortable at a hotel -- somewhere other than around your brother."
I'm looking at my dad. Magically he's sitting in a La-Z-Boy watching Fox News. There's a guy in a clown suit yelling. My dad's talking to his stock broker on the cell and saying that the clown on the tv yelling says to "Sell. Buy. Sell." So he's telling the stock broker to sell.
"We just think it's for the best." my mom is saying. She's watching my dad too.
That's when I woke up.
Mele Kalikimaka, imaginary not my mom. I know a great place in the BVI.
:D
.
.
Well I needed that....
.
Was reading the Twitter when I came upon the tweets of Mark Tweddle. From there it was a hop, skip, and a jump to his blog on Blogspot, Damp Shorts...
http://latweddle.blogspot.com/2010/08/no-more-lessons.html#comment-form
Got me thinking about potty training....
So to Mark Tweddle
Hello. I enjoy reading your blog. It's been a while since I've had to potty or house train but
Uhmm... well it's kind of like house training puppies only you can't do the rolled up newspaper thing to the nose nor can you let them out in the back yard at 6am in sleep deprived daze. The good news is that you can hose them off and let them run round in the backyard in a diaper.
Which brings me to this comment.
A friend took her very young son to his grandparents for the summer. The grandparents lived out in the country on a farm. Lots of land to run on and not much in the way of neighbors. He, the grandson, wasn't "housebroke" yet and this kind of annoyed her father-in-law-- alot.
Anyway...
The kid has a fun stay with Gampa and comes back to the suburbs with the words that Gampa has taken car of the potty training thing.
And he had. Regular as clock work the little boy would say, "I must go poopie." and he did. Then one day they were outside when the tyke goes behind the bushes. My friend is a country girl so that didn't seem unusual until her friend says to her, "Did you know that your son is running round without pants?"
In horror, as this is unusual even to a oountry girl, my friend collects up her son and his pants. She asks him, "Why on Earth did you take off your pants? Her son's reply? Because Gampa told me that if I had to potty and couldn't make it to the house I should find a bush and do it 'cause he wasn't about to change another poopy pants. Then he growled. "
My mother in law claimed that she'd potty trained all 5 of her kids by the time they were one and 1/2 yo. Like my own mother she said it was easy. Soon as the weather was warm enough to play outside, take off the diapers and put on the training pants. Not the pull ups either. Then? Get out the water hose and then plan on spending the most of your time outside for about two weeks. I'm not kidding. The theory is that it doesn't take too many messy pants episodes to find out that "ickypants" is just that - icky. The water hose, not for torture, is for easy clean up of the resulting accidental mess. That, apparently is why you potty train in the summer.
Good luck. Think of this period as training for the teenager years. Plus you're a guy raising a son. You can both go into the same rest room. Once after standing outside of a men's bathroom waiting for my preschooler son to emerge, I finally had to ask an older fella on the way in if he could check and see if my young son was okay. In a minute or two the older guy came out laughing and told me that my son was fine. From what he could tell, he was in one of the stall waiting to poop. No complications and he was pretty sure that if he couldn't get the door unbolted that there was room enough for him to climb under the stall door.
Joy.
LOL oh and there was the time in gymclass when one of the ladies hussled my son from one side of the gymnasium to otherside where I was sitting with the other moms.
"Is he okay?" I'm concerned because she looked so serious.
"He's okay but," she's whispering so I can't half hear her, "He's got an emergency."
"An emergency? I thought you said he was okay. What's the --" I'm really confused and now she was whispering something I couldn't understand, "Wha-?" I'm asking.
Then she said clear as day,
"He has to go to the potty."
LOL
.
:D
.
Was reading the Twitter when I came upon the tweets of Mark Tweddle. From there it was a hop, skip, and a jump to his blog on Blogspot, Damp Shorts...
http://latweddle.blogspot.com/2010/08/no-more-lessons.html#comment-form
Got me thinking about potty training....
So to Mark Tweddle
Hello. I enjoy reading your blog. It's been a while since I've had to potty or house train but
Uhmm... well it's kind of like house training puppies only you can't do the rolled up newspaper thing to the nose nor can you let them out in the back yard at 6am in sleep deprived daze. The good news is that you can hose them off and let them run round in the backyard in a diaper.
Which brings me to this comment.
A friend took her very young son to his grandparents for the summer. The grandparents lived out in the country on a farm. Lots of land to run on and not much in the way of neighbors. He, the grandson, wasn't "housebroke" yet and this kind of annoyed her father-in-law-- alot.
Anyway...
The kid has a fun stay with Gampa and comes back to the suburbs with the words that Gampa has taken car of the potty training thing.
And he had. Regular as clock work the little boy would say, "I must go poopie." and he did. Then one day they were outside when the tyke goes behind the bushes. My friend is a country girl so that didn't seem unusual until her friend says to her, "Did you know that your son is running round without pants?"
In horror, as this is unusual even to a oountry girl, my friend collects up her son and his pants. She asks him, "Why on Earth did you take off your pants? Her son's reply? Because Gampa told me that if I had to potty and couldn't make it to the house I should find a bush and do it 'cause he wasn't about to change another poopy pants. Then he growled. "
My mother in law claimed that she'd potty trained all 5 of her kids by the time they were one and 1/2 yo. Like my own mother she said it was easy. Soon as the weather was warm enough to play outside, take off the diapers and put on the training pants. Not the pull ups either. Then? Get out the water hose and then plan on spending the most of your time outside for about two weeks. I'm not kidding. The theory is that it doesn't take too many messy pants episodes to find out that "ickypants" is just that - icky. The water hose, not for torture, is for easy clean up of the resulting accidental mess. That, apparently is why you potty train in the summer.
Good luck. Think of this period as training for the teenager years. Plus you're a guy raising a son. You can both go into the same rest room. Once after standing outside of a men's bathroom waiting for my preschooler son to emerge, I finally had to ask an older fella on the way in if he could check and see if my young son was okay. In a minute or two the older guy came out laughing and told me that my son was fine. From what he could tell, he was in one of the stall waiting to poop. No complications and he was pretty sure that if he couldn't get the door unbolted that there was room enough for him to climb under the stall door.
Joy.
LOL oh and there was the time in gymclass when one of the ladies hussled my son from one side of the gymnasium to otherside where I was sitting with the other moms.
"Is he okay?" I'm concerned because she looked so serious.
"He's okay but," she's whispering so I can't half hear her, "He's got an emergency."
"An emergency? I thought you said he was okay. What's the --" I'm really confused and now she was whispering something I couldn't understand, "Wha-?" I'm asking.
Then she said clear as day,
"He has to go to the potty."
LOL
.
:D
.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Two trains left different stations at different times...
.
If you're lucky, some random act of Fate will kick you in the butt and say,"Get off your duff and out into the world." Thanks to Fate and the stranger who posted a beautiful diving photo. To me it said, "Look at the world. Why are you still sitting here in front of the computer trying to analyze what went wrong in the past when there is so much beauty to see in the "now". Thank you Ms Wayland. We don't know each other and more than likely won't meet, but thank you.
When I was a very young person, this was years ago, we had math word problems to solve. In Calculus there was the problem of a ladder sliding down the side of a wall. We were supposed to calculate where the top and the bottom rung would be at various times during it's travel downward. In Physics, there was a monkey cavorting in a tree to be caught. They were abstract questions of time and space that were no more to me than arbitrary hurdles to climb. A gradepoint on a report card.
Then there was the problem of the two trains. You know this one:
If two trains left from different sides of the country and Train A was traveling at one speed and Train B traveling twice as fast - blah blah blah blah blah blah blah - you know - those trains. I never really cared where those trains ended up. No matter where they came from or what time they arrived, they where never going to stop at my door.
Until today when two Internet "trains", one on Twitter and the other on Yahoo, stopped at my virtual door. On Train A, someone I've never met posted the fact that she had no idea what time zone she was in but she had photos of where she was. Her train of thought arrived from a scuba dive in Maui. http://yfrog.com/jbpx1p I came upon the photo by accident but I'm glad that I found it because of the second train. It came from a man who's wife had died. From Martin Short:
"... if you have wonderful moments, don't second-guess them, just enjoy them."
"Be here now." The words from someone when I was 16 were beginning to sink in.
"Be here now."
Seems simple but it's not.
If that wasn't enough to think about, there was a third train yet to arrive.
Today's horoscope said that there were people in my life that I'd lost touch with. It said that I should find them again. When I read the words I thought it would be Billy, IrishDavid, and Writing Buddy who I'd lost touch with.
I had no idea that the person I'd left behind was me.
"... if you have wonderful moments, don't second-guess them, just enjoy them."
said Martin Short.
"Be here now."
said the girl at 16.
Today is a good day to find the people who you've lost touch with."
said my horoscope.
(Who for once got it right.)
For the life of me, I couldn't calculate, for you or anyoneelse, the rate at which those "trains" arrived at my door. I just know, that when they did, a door appeared. A little like the one for Alice but without all that very long fall downward.
I opened the door and walked outside.
"Lucky me."
.
I still haven't named the boat.
Got the water from the Pacific, Atlantic, and on July 4th, the Gulf of Mexico. That we got the water from the Gulf on the 4th was important. It was the last of the water that I needed and it to me it was my liberty. There are folks here who are still trying to get me to go to the river. I know that they love it. I'm glad to have access to such beautiful water but they don't understand yet. It's time. The longer I stay here the more I come to resemble an old suitcase full of letters in storage. I'm tired of being custodian of other peoples memories while they go off in the world. Who pre-ordained me to sit quietly here with hands folded in my lap. There are adventures to be had on my small boat. I looked at that photo with is beautiful colors and thought, "It's time. No more people yelling and blaming me for the problems in their life. No more hearing about my short comings and failures. No more getting dumped on just to make other folks feel better about themselves. They'll do it no matter if I stay or go. I'd hoped to have a companion to go with me but what if I don't?
What is the worst thing that could happen?
Well, for one? I could grow old waiting to live young.
Hugs.
PS
I've read this to WB and Pup.
For some reason this is bothering WB. He's trying to feed me. He does that when he doesn't know whatelse to do with me. I'm glad he's here but I think it's been difficult for WB.
TBC
.
Note photo credit, Tim York (Tryork5ifp)
Yeah, that Tryork, the one from ebay.
.
.
If you're lucky, some random act of Fate will kick you in the butt and say,"Get off your duff and out into the world." Thanks to Fate and the stranger who posted a beautiful diving photo. To me it said, "Look at the world. Why are you still sitting here in front of the computer trying to analyze what went wrong in the past when there is so much beauty to see in the "now". Thank you Ms Wayland. We don't know each other and more than likely won't meet, but thank you.
When I was a very young person, this was years ago, we had math word problems to solve. In Calculus there was the problem of a ladder sliding down the side of a wall. We were supposed to calculate where the top and the bottom rung would be at various times during it's travel downward. In Physics, there was a monkey cavorting in a tree to be caught. They were abstract questions of time and space that were no more to me than arbitrary hurdles to climb. A gradepoint on a report card.
Then there was the problem of the two trains. You know this one:
If two trains left from different sides of the country and Train A was traveling at one speed and Train B traveling twice as fast - blah blah blah blah blah blah blah - you know - those trains. I never really cared where those trains ended up. No matter where they came from or what time they arrived, they where never going to stop at my door.
Until today when two Internet "trains", one on Twitter and the other on Yahoo, stopped at my virtual door. On Train A, someone I've never met posted the fact that she had no idea what time zone she was in but she had photos of where she was. Her train of thought arrived from a scuba dive in Maui. http://yfrog.com/jbpx1p I came upon the photo by accident but I'm glad that I found it because of the second train. It came from a man who's wife had died. From Martin Short:
"... if you have wonderful moments, don't second-guess them, just enjoy them."
"Be here now." The words from someone when I was 16 were beginning to sink in.
"Be here now."
Seems simple but it's not.
If that wasn't enough to think about, there was a third train yet to arrive.
Today's horoscope said that there were people in my life that I'd lost touch with. It said that I should find them again. When I read the words I thought it would be Billy, IrishDavid, and Writing Buddy who I'd lost touch with.
I had no idea that the person I'd left behind was me.
"... if you have wonderful moments, don't second-guess them, just enjoy them."
said Martin Short.
"Be here now."
said the girl at 16.
Today is a good day to find the people who you've lost touch with."
said my horoscope.
(Who for once got it right.)
For the life of me, I couldn't calculate, for you or anyoneelse, the rate at which those "trains" arrived at my door. I just know, that when they did, a door appeared. A little like the one for Alice but without all that very long fall downward.
I opened the door and walked outside.
"Lucky me."
.
I still haven't named the boat.
Got the water from the Pacific, Atlantic, and on July 4th, the Gulf of Mexico. That we got the water from the Gulf on the 4th was important. It was the last of the water that I needed and it to me it was my liberty. There are folks here who are still trying to get me to go to the river. I know that they love it. I'm glad to have access to such beautiful water but they don't understand yet. It's time. The longer I stay here the more I come to resemble an old suitcase full of letters in storage. I'm tired of being custodian of other peoples memories while they go off in the world. Who pre-ordained me to sit quietly here with hands folded in my lap. There are adventures to be had on my small boat. I looked at that photo with is beautiful colors and thought, "It's time. No more people yelling and blaming me for the problems in their life. No more hearing about my short comings and failures. No more getting dumped on just to make other folks feel better about themselves. They'll do it no matter if I stay or go. I'd hoped to have a companion to go with me but what if I don't?
What is the worst thing that could happen?
Well, for one? I could grow old waiting to live young.
Hugs.
PS
I've read this to WB and Pup.
For some reason this is bothering WB. He's trying to feed me. He does that when he doesn't know whatelse to do with me. I'm glad he's here but I think it's been difficult for WB.
TBC
.
Note photo credit, Tim York (Tryork5ifp)
Yeah, that Tryork, the one from ebay.
.
.
Twelve days but who's counting...
.
Talked to WB and to Pup.
No matter how far along I am here at the farm?
I'm back writing.
.
Yay.
(now if I can just figure out how to set the font size and how to link between blog posts. Oh, and how to post vids within comments.)
.
Talked to WB and to Pup.
No matter how far along I am here at the farm?
I'm back writing.
.
Yay.
(now if I can just figure out how to set the font size and how to link between blog posts. Oh, and how to post vids within comments.)
.
Monday, August 23, 2010
But your honor....(or how I actually got out of jury duty honestly -- kind a)
.
The funniest jury duty story that I've ever heard.
Young mother gets a notice of jury duty. She calls the person in charge and tells them that she'd love to do jury duty but she'd have to bring her baby along because didn't have a sitter. "Not to worry," the young mother says, "He only gets fussy when he's humgry but since I'm breast feeding that shouldn't be a problem. I'll bring a blanket. I don't think the sight of a breast feeding mom should disrupt the court proceedings. Of course, I do have a tendency to fall asleep. If I start snoring? Tell the juror sitting next to me to do what everyoneelse does. Just poke me in the ribs then shout in my ear, "Wake the feck up!" I'll be awake in no time"
She was excused and hasn't heard back from the court since.
Except for the "... Wake the feck up!..." part? This is a true story of how I actually got out of jury duty. I wasn't lying or trying to get out of it. Honest. I was just worn out. When I was summonded, my Pup was nursing every two hours just about round the clock. I got no sleep and when I was awake was so sleepy that wake time was a blur. Thank goodness that the person in charge was a nice person.)
Hugs. Hope if you are selected it's a short but interesting case that you can vote on with clear concience.
.
The funniest jury duty story that I've ever heard.
Young mother gets a notice of jury duty. She calls the person in charge and tells them that she'd love to do jury duty but she'd have to bring her baby along because didn't have a sitter. "Not to worry," the young mother says, "He only gets fussy when he's humgry but since I'm breast feeding that shouldn't be a problem. I'll bring a blanket. I don't think the sight of a breast feeding mom should disrupt the court proceedings. Of course, I do have a tendency to fall asleep. If I start snoring? Tell the juror sitting next to me to do what everyoneelse does. Just poke me in the ribs then shout in my ear, "Wake the feck up!" I'll be awake in no time"
She was excused and hasn't heard back from the court since.
Except for the "... Wake the feck up!..." part? This is a true story of how I actually got out of jury duty. I wasn't lying or trying to get out of it. Honest. I was just worn out. When I was summonded, my Pup was nursing every two hours just about round the clock. I got no sleep and when I was awake was so sleepy that wake time was a blur. Thank goodness that the person in charge was a nice person.)
Hugs. Hope if you are selected it's a short but interesting case that you can vote on with clear concience.
.
Because it can't be said too much....
.
Welcome to The Slacker Chronicles.
(a writer's journal)
Fact and fiction co-exist here.
If you don't know which is which?
Don't ASSume.
Ask.
Thanks and welcome Gentle Readers.
Happy, happy day.
:D
.
.
Welcome to The Slacker Chronicles.
(a writer's journal)
Fact and fiction co-exist here.
If you don't know which is which?
Don't ASSume.
Ask.
Thanks and welcome Gentle Readers.
Happy, happy day.
:D
.
.
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