One of the craziest things that I ever did (besides thinking that I could be a mom and could some how find love and ever after) was bungie jump off a perfectly good support.
There I was standing there all hitched up to the harness and all that bungie cord that was supposed to let me fall almost to the ground and then magically I'd be yanked up into the Heavens. Safe.
Lol. I made the guys who run the jump go first. The theory? That if they'd jump first, I'd know that it was safe.
So they did.
Off that platform they jumped as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Fearless. Then up into the air and then down toward the ground and then up into the air and down until finally the twisting and turning of their choice slowed to a decision of sorts. No fear all faith.
Then it was my turn.
At first I tried to jump off facing that long jump. I tried but the notion of the consequences of that decision were to great to face forwards. So I turned my back on all the logical consequences and the possible damage to life and limb and I jumped.
There aren't words to describe the feeling. It was as if part of me was still on that platform but the other part was free in the most uncomfortable way. As I fell, I was yelling. Later I was told that the swear word for fecal matter could be heard all over the park in one long extended syllable that was highlighted by a perfunctory "t" sound. They guys who ran the thing and the guy who jumped before me were delighted. Especially the second time I tried it and this time the expletive for the same bodily function ended in a less frantic but no less afraid "p". They tried for a third time and even offered to give me a tshirt if I would but honestly twice was enough.
So what does this post have to do with love and it's concepts?
Well, I was in love with someone who wasn't back. For years, I told myself that being friends was good enough since I honestly didn't think that they felt the same.
Now I feel different.
Ya got to jump and risk all that pain in order to experience the joy.
Anytime is the right time to call.
If the line is busy?
If that don't work there's always email.